A History Of Jewish Customs For Grieving?

The period from the moment of death until burial is called aninut, and a mourner in this stage is called an onen. Many practices surrounding death, such as tearing one’s clothes, burial, and mourning the deceased, find their origins in the biblical text. Within the Jewish community, Jews observe many different rituals and mourning practices, some dating back thousands of years and some more recent in origin.

The period of shiva is intended to see mourners through the first days of intense grief and disorientation. Jewish tradition recognizes that grief continues long after shiva and offers additional rituals to support it. There are several important rituals around death in Judaism, including making a tear in one’s clothing when hearing of a loved one’s death.

Bereavement in Judaism is a combination of minhag (traditions) and mitzvah (commandments) derived from the Torah. Many converts to Judaism follow traditional mourning practices (including saying Kaddish) for their non-Jewish family members.

Throughout my sorrow, I followed the Jewish rituals of mourning which helped me move forward in life instead of remaining mired in grief. We trace our Jewish practices of burial to when Abraham bought a burial place for Sarah, and of shiva to when Joseph mourned for his father Jacob for seven days.

In summary, Jewish mourning customs reflect the natural course of grief and recovery following the death of a loved one. The Jewish tradition of mourning encompasses all aspects of life, from the moment of death to post-mourning procedures.

What is the Jewish tradition of mourning?

Shiva, meaning “seven” in Hebrew, is the week of mourning following a funeral. It traditionally lasts for seven days, with a pause for Shabbat. Some mourners choose to observe shiva for a shorter number of days, which may be shortened with the onset of some Jewish holidays. A rabbi or cantor can guide families on the number of days to sit shiva and designate specific times for community members to visit and offer condolences.

Meals are often provided upon the return from the cemetery, symbolizing the cycle of life. On the first day of shiva, a pitcher of water, a bowl, and towels are placed outside the house for ritual hand washing. Jewish funeral homes provide a memorial candle to be lit at the start of shiva, which remains burning for the entire week. Religious services are frequently held in the house of mourning during shiva, allowing mourners to acknowledge their grief and recite the Mourner’s Kaddish prayer.

During shiva, many Jewish mourners refrain from haircuts, shaving, laundry, washing/grooming, and wearing leather shoes. They may cover mirrors in their homes as a reminder that the focus is on their mourning and not their appearance. Some mourners may refrain from entertainment on computers, television, and the radio, reflecting that shiva is not “business as usual”.

While receiving visitors, mourners may be sitting on special chairs or other seating that is lower than usual. Some mourners welcome hearing and sharing stories and anecdotes about their loved one. As family and friends leave shiva, they may offer words of comfort to the mourners, such as “hamakom yinachem et-chem b’toch sh’ar avelei tzion v’yerushalayim”.

Synagogue services on the final days of Passover, Shavuot, Sukkot, and Yom Kippur also recite special yizkor (memorial) prayers for deceased relatives. A 24-hour candle is customarily lit on these days, without a blessing.

What happens 2 minutes before death?

The moment of someone’s death can be profound, even unexpected. People may feel overwhelmed with sadness, while others may take days, weeks, or months to process their emotions. The moment of death can be sudden and unexpected, especially for those who have been caring for the person. The person may experience a mix of rasping and quiet breathing, with occasional breaths and no breath for several seconds. The relief and finality of the moment can surprise those who have been caring for the person.

What are the 9 days of mourning in Judaism?

The Nine Days of Av are a religious and spiritual celebration in Judaism, marking the first nine days of the Jewish month of Av, which corresponds to July/August. The celebration begins on Rosh Chodesh Av and ends on the public fast day of Tisha B’Av. The Nine Days are part of the larger Three Weeks, which begin with the public fast day of the Seventeenth of Tammuz, commemorating the destruction of the First Temple by the Babylonians in 586 BCE, and ends with the public fast day of Tisha B’Av, commemorating the destruction of the Second Temple by the Romans in 70 CE.

During the Three Weeks, Jews abstain from certain activities to commemorate and remember the destruction of the Temple. The Talmud suggests that the Nine Days initiate a greater level of communal and personal mourning, despite being considered an inauspicious time in modern times.

Can a woman wear pants to a shiva?

The dress code for Shiva can vary depending on the family, but it is recommended to adhere to a business casual dress code, with no ties or jackets required for men and pants and skirts for women. The dress code for children is dependent upon the familial relationship, the age of the child, and the child’s preferences. Therefore, it is generally not advisable to bring children to the event.

What is forbidden during shiva?

During shiva, mourners stay at a designated home, refraining from outside activities, such as work or school. They are also prohibited from shaving, bathing, wearing leather shoes, or cleaning their clothes. They are also prohibited from attending parties or festive occasions, listening to secular music, or enjoying entertainment. Some traditions also ban the study of the Torah during shiva, except for passages related to mourning. Prayer services are conducted at the shiva house every seven days, with mourners reciting the Mourner’s Kaddish.

To prepare the house, first-degree mourners usually sit for most of the mourning period, with pillows on floors or low stools or benches. Mirrors are covered and a yahrzeit candle is lit for the week. A water basin and towel are placed outside the door for ritual hand washing.

What color do you wear to a Jewish funeral?

At a Jewish funeral, black is the most popular color, but other dark colors like navy blue, grey, or brown are acceptable. Close family members may stick to traditional black, but others may not. Avoid bright colors or exaggerated patterns. Acceptable Jewish funeral dress code items include a black jacket, suit pants, collared shirt, tie, and a yarmulke. Women should wear a simple dress with a jacket or a conservative blouse and skirt.

What is the first organ to shut down when dying?

The digestive system is the initial organ to cease functioning, as it is a substantial process that necessitates energy to construct new cells, and the energy is now allocated elsewhere.

What is the 7 days after death return?

The Chinese believe that the soul of the deceased returns to their home seven days after death. To ensure this, a red plaque with an inscription is placed outside the home, and family members remain in their roooms. Asian funeral traditions, passed down for generations, create a beautiful end-of-life transition, embracing beauty and respect. Every detail is important and must be strictly honored to avoid misfortune for the deceased’s family. When planning an Asian funeral, the deceased’s age, marital and social status, and traditional family background are important considerations.

What happens during the 7 days of mourning?

The “Shiva House” is a Jewish custom that originated from the Biblical concept of seven days of mourning. Mourners stay in the deceased’s home for seven days, with modern variants allowing them to remain in their own home. The mourning family stays together in one place and follows specific practices, such as covering mirrors, wearing torn clothing, and sitting on low stools or pillows. They avoid pleasurable activities like music and daily tasks like business and shaving.

Mourners may also burn a yahrzeit memorial candle for the entire seven days. Some Jewish people also forgo wearing leather shoes due to their comfort. Bathing is also restricted, but basic hygiene requirements can be met. The Shiva House serves as a symbol of the mourning family’s connection to the deceased and their loss.

How many days after death is a Jewish funeral?

A Jewish funeral typically occurs within 24 hours of the deceased’s death, as a sign of respect. Modern funeral services often occur later, allowing friends and family to attend without public viewing. The body is buried in a simple, biodegradable casket made of wood or pine. The funeral procession includes mourners congregating, Keriah (tearing a black ribbon), entering the chapel, initial remarks and prayers, eulogy, exiting the chapel, removing the casket, and moving to the cemetery.

What are the 5 stages of mourning in Judaism?

Jewish tradition outlines five stages of mourning for the passing of a loved one: Aninut, Shivah, Shloshim, and First Year. These stages are designed to facilitate and express feelings of loss and grief, while also setting boundaries to mitigate the intensity of mourning. Mourning is a crucial stage in healing, as it allows the soul to return to active, joyous life. The Torah provides a framework to channel and express grief over the loss of a loved one, from the stupefying grief of Aninut to the seclusion, break from routine, and receiving of condolence of Shivah. It is important to meticulously observe these guidelines and rituals, but not to exceed them.

The Torah’s mourning laws provide the outlet and validation for our grief so crucial to the healing process, as well as the framework to graduate from one level of mourning to another until our loss is integrated as a constructive force in our lives. The traditional mourning practices are not only about us and how we deal with our grief but also about the person whom we mourn. The mourning and memorializing rituals mandated by the Torah empower us with the spiritual tools to honor the departed soul and assist its elevation to its new, higher state of life.

The first, most intense period of mourning is the aninut, which is characterized by a numbing, paralyzing grief. First-degree relatives’ all-consuming concern is the funeral and burial arrangements, to the extent that they are absolved by Torah law from the observance of all mitzvot requiring action (praying, laying tefillin, etc.).

During this period, the first-degree mourners perform the k’riah, or rending of the garments as a sign of grief. Our sages instruct us not to comfort the mourner during the time that their deceased lies (still unburied) before him. Instead, it is a time of silence, not words, to offer practical assistance and support.

In summary, Jewish tradition emphasizes the importance of mourning for the loss of a loved one, setting boundaries for mourning, and recognizing the importance of the soul’s continued influence in our world.