The Marsella Tarot is a powerful tool for regaining the heart of an ex-lover, drawing wisdom from ancient tarot readings. Paul Richard, a tarot and Marseille expert, shares his secrets on becoming a TdM-expert in seven ways. The Tarot de Marseilles deck is an authentic reproduction of the popular Tarot of Marseilles, with French scholars restoring the centuries-old deck with crisp drawings based on original woodcut images.
The Tarot of Marseilles is a standard pattern of Italian-suited tarot pack with 78 cards that was popular in France in the 17th and 18th centuries for playing tarot card games. The deck has a simple image system of Minor Arcana, which must be based on multiple algorithms rather than just looking at images.
To approach the Tarot of Marseilles, one must have the right mindset and focus on one’s own growth. The Judgment card in a tarot reading represents themes of rebirth, renewal, and spiritual awakening. It is important to cut back on things and not hold onto them.
The Tarot of Marseilles is a game of dominance, action, luck, and skill, known as the Two Banks of The River. The deck covers various types of relationships, including the good extroverted outspoken man, the quiet sacrificial dedicated man who left after years, and the quiet sacrificial dedicated man who left after years.
The deck is a 22-card deck, majors only, “thermography with gold and silver” (technical knowledge welcome). The deck offers advice on studying each card and finding its unique significance, as well as instructions for using it.
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Is it OK to pull Tarot cards for yourself?
Tarot readings can be done by beginners, providing insight into current situations, honoring intuition, and forecasting potential outcomes. To begin, clean the energy of your space by burning herbs, ringing bells or chimes, taking a bath, or using crystals. A Selenite wand is a popular energy refresher that aids clarity.
Sit comfortably and close your eyes, focusing on the protective energy surrounding you. Take deep breaths, think about your question or needing guidance, and keep your mind and heart open to the answers that may come through the cards. Shuffle the deck, focusing on your desired query, and shuffle the cards in front of you. The pattern laid out is called a “spread”, and the meaning of each card in combinations builds up to the overall answer to your query.
Before beginning to shuffle, know which spread you will be working with. As answers come through, it’s important to draw additional cards for further clarity or start with a new question from a different perspective. Tarot readings can be a powerful tool for personal growth and understanding.
What is the saddest tarot card?
Theresa Reed, known as The Tarot Lady, discusses the grieving process and the Five of Cups, which she believes is the saddest card in the deck. Grief doesn’t happen in a neat package with stages, and sometimes you can’t fully recover. Megan Devine’s book, It’s Okay That You’re Not Okay: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture that Doesn’t Understand, offers a profound and honest look at the grieving process, with tips, practices, and stories to aid in healing after loss.
What is the most valuable tarot card?
The Fool is a card in tarot games, not part of the Major Arcana. In most games, the Fool is independent of both plain suit cards and trump cards, and does not belong to either category. Tarot decks originally made for game playing do not assign a number to the Fool indicating its rank in the suit of trumps. The Fool is one of the most valuable cards in almost all tarot games.
In tarot games originating from Italy and France, the Fool has a unique role, sometimes called “the Excuse”. In these games, the player excuses the player from following suit or playing a trump. At the end of the trick, the player takes back the Fool and adds it to their trick pile, giving the trick’s winner the least valuable card from that same pile. If there are no cards to give in exchange, the Fool is worth one point less and an extra point is given to the trick-taker.
In a minor variant option of French tarot, a player dealt trump 1 but with no other trumps or the Fool can make trump 1 behave the same as the Fool. In official tournament rules, a player in this situation must declare their hand and force a redeal.
What is the most powerful tarot card?
Tarot cards are a popular tool for self-reflection and guidance, as well as entertainment and exploring subconscious mind aspects. However, there is no single card that stands out as the most powerful. Each card has different meanings and impacts, depending on the context, question, and reader interpretation. Some of the most influential cards include The Fool, the first card of the Major Arcana, which represents new beginnings and infinite possibilities.
The Fool is often depicted as a young man about to step off a cliff, with a dog at his feet, a bag on his shoulder, and a white rose in his hand. The Tower, the third card, represents the power of turning ideas into reality and the potential to create and transform ourselves. Overall, the Tarot cards play a significant role in shaping our lives and providing guidance.
What to do to win him back?
The “Smart Girls’ Guide to Winning Back a Partner” offers the following advice for those seeking to rekindle a relationship: avoid engaging in any activities after consuming a bottle of wine, identify the source of the problem, acknowledge your role in the issue, refrain from expressing negative emotions, avoid attempts to make your partner jealous, emphasize the benefits of the relationship, and avoid overwhelming your partner with messages. At times, a relationship may be salvageable, yet there are instances when it is ultimately best to let it go.
How to flip a tarot card?
In Tarot readings, it is important to flip cards horizontally to maintain orientation and avoid confusion. However, other techniques can work if clear intentions are made. This helps the cards provide information without adding uncertainty. Feeling confused or uncertain can lead to unclear answers. A clean, confident vibe is preferred when working the cards. Dixie offers confidential, one-on-one sessions for individuals seeking support. Clients can learn more about working together or read testimonials from her clients.
How is a tarot card reversed?
Tarot cards can be pulled in reversed, which means they miss some of the energy of their turned-right-side-up meaning. For example, the queen of cups may signify strong intuition and emotional security, while reversed could indicate obstruction in these abilities. To check the specific meaning of a reversed card, one can consult a tarot book or a tarot website. Tarot is a highly personal practice, and one can decide whether or not to read a card as a reversal.
Astrologer and tarot reader Maria Sofia Marmanides states that it is at one’s discretion to decide whether to read a card as a reversal. Depending on one’s level of practice, reading reversals may be more beneficial for beginners. It is important to note that reading a reversed card may not always be the best approach, as it can lead to different interpretations and interpretations.
Which is the strongest tarot card?
The Fool is a card in tarot games, not part of the Major Arcana. In most games, the Fool is independent of both plain suit cards and trump cards, and does not belong to either category. Tarot decks originally made for game playing do not assign a number to the Fool indicating its rank in the suit of trumps. The Fool is one of the most valuable cards in almost all tarot games.
In tarot games originating from Italy and France, the Fool has a unique role, sometimes called “the Excuse”. In these games, the player excuses the player from following suit or playing a trump. At the end of the trick, the player takes back the Fool and adds it to their trick pile, giving the trick’s winner the least valuable card from that same pile. If there are no cards to give in exchange, the Fool is worth one point less and an extra point is given to the trick-taker.
In a minor variant option of French tarot, a player dealt trump 1 but with no other trumps or the Fool can make trump 1 behave the same as the Fool. In official tournament rules, a player in this situation must declare their hand and force a redeal.
How do I make him desperately want me back?
Break-ups can be challenging, especially if you didn’t want to break up in the first place. However, if you’re certain your ex is the only guy for you, don’t despair. Use these helpful ideas to make him want you back.
Give your ex space immediately after the break-up and cut communication for a while. Wait for him to contact you before starting to date again. Take things slowly and go on dates as if you were a brand new couple.
Handle the break-up maturely and with grace. Respect his decision and give him time to see things more clearly. He will appreciate your understanding and respect for handling yourself with dignity.
What is the luckiest card in the Tarot?
The Wheel of Fortune card, part of the Major Arcana, is a symbol of destiny, fortune, success, elevation, luck, and felicity. It is often depicted in a six- or eight-spoked wheel, often attended by an individual dressed in an Egyptian-style headdress. In some decks, such as the AG Müller, the wheel is also attended by an individual wearing a blindfold. The wheel is not always inscribed with any lettering, but the letters T-A-R-O (clockwise) or T-O-R-A (counter clockwise) can be found aligned against four of the spokes, which can also be interpreted as R-O-T-A, the Latin word meaning “wheel”.
In some decks, such as the Waite, the wheel is inscribed with additional alchemical symbols representing the four elements: Earth, Air, Fire, and Water. These emblems can also be seen on the Magician’s table in the Magician card (Card I).
How to make him miss you?
Dating tips for making someone miss you like Crazy Dev include focusing on personal growth and independence, creating positive shared experiences, valuing quality time, communicating openly and authentically, using absence strategically, showing affection and appreciation, and creating a sense of anticipation and curiosity. It’s important to avoid manipulation and focus on nurturing genuine connection.
Embrace your independence, pursue your passions, create meaningful memories, spark curiosity, give space for the natural feeling of missing you, and avoid manipulative games. This will help you become more alluring and memorable.
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I’m too scared that if I break all contact he wont ever reach out again. But maybe that would be for the better. I find that talking to him, when I do, I’m in this extremely happy mood and I cant stop smiling, but then afterwards when he’s no longer talking to me, I feel miserable. It’s feeling of low self worth that no one deserves to ever feel
To everyone perusal. This is 100% the truth. I cut my ex out because I wasn’t going to be his friend while desperately hoping for something more. I never wanted him back…I wanted to get over him and forget. But months later he came back…and is more reliable then ever. Funny thing is…I realized I deserve better and I no longer want to date him.
After 23 days of no contact, she reached out to me today. The worst 23 days of my life, lost my job and 15lb. I decided not to answer her and continue my healing process. It is hard and tough, but you can do it. Every time I wanted to break the no contact rule, I watched this article and I told myself to just survive for today and don’t think about tomorrow. Anyone who is going through a breakup now, I know you are in a great pain but you can do it and remember tomorrow will be better. Stay Strong.
This is absolutely true and something I’ve tried teaching my girls. Whenever I’ve had A break up, I immediately get into NO CONTACT mode and EVERY. SINGLE. TIME they come back. Problem is, when they do, I no longer want them. If you’re leaving, you need to STAY gone because there’s no going back on my part. 7.5 billion people on this earth… nobody has time to be crying over some fool that does not recognize your worth! 7.5 billion people… Remember that!
When I was single or heart broken I spent so much time trying to convince guys that I was perfect for them, chasing guys, and wondering on how to get him to commit to me. I wish someone could have told me “He’s just not that into you.” It would have saved me so much pain. I’m now in a relationship with an amazing guy who loves me and for the first time I’m not insecure in our relationship, he’s everything I’ve ever wanted. We’re getting married in September💕Ladies please set your standards high and wait on the guy who puts you on a pedestal and treats you like the princess you are. Don’t waist your time on a guy who’s just not that into you. You’ll never have to make any excuses for your soulmate, he’s going to be everything you’ve ever wanted and so much more💜💍
My ex broke up with me in January and got married in April to his “really good friend.” We were together 10 years. The pain was unbearable for a few days but he made it easy for me to move on and I realized he did me a favor! He still called me afterwards but I did the no contact period;a period that will be implimented for life. Keep your heads up my broken-hearted girls it gets better, life gets better! #allthingshappenforareason
This is so true. I was in love with a man who was emotionally unavailable and I was willing to do anything for him. When he dumped me, it broke me and I tried to get him back…it backfired. I was miserable…but now I’ve come out from the other side. I’ve cut off all contact and moved on, I start taking care of myself, loving myself, cherishing myself. I wouldn’t care if he comes back. I’ve found someone who treats exactly the way I’m meant to be treated: respect and kindness. To all those suffering, take care of yourself, love yourself and you will survive and thrive.
I went no contact initially which lasted about 2.5 months, until he reached out. I took the bait so hard because I had been waiting and waiting for this moment. But I was all too quick to forgive him and come running to his doorstep. I think even he was surprised, he even said that he ‘can’t believe I am so forgiving’… I clearly wasn’t ready at this point to approach him with a clear, strong mind, but I didn’t know that at the time. I was still very much addicted. 2 months goes by and he basically used me again as his secret affair, despite always finding the words and answers that seemed to satisfy my questions. I finally had the courage to walk away and say I deserve better. It took a moment of strength to send that message, even though I spent weeks after going back and forth on whether or not I should’ve sent it. Either way, I stuck with it. He said he couldn’t be ‘that person right now’, and that would always be his answer, it was obvious to me then. A few more months go by, and I gave in a few times where I’d send a message letting him know I’m thinking of him or saying something kind. I thought about him every single hour of everyday. I tried to keep my distance but I’d always relapse slightly and feel I’d have to start again when I received such an average response back. Finally, November 2019 I sent my last ‘nice’ message, knowing I was about to leave for Japan for 18 months and start a whole new life. He didn’t even finish the conversation and just left me hanging.
I’m back to this place every couple months. Ugh, exs are diseases. Please don’t expect to be back with them. Trust me, they will come back. They always do but it’s still not going to work. He’s still who he was and you’re just setting yourself up for heartbreak again. Ladies, don’t give them more opportunities than they deserved like I did. You will be alright again
If I can do this, anyone can! I was in the “addiction” cycle with my ex for a long time. About 2 months ago, I decided I’d had enough and decided to start the no contact period. I’m currently on day 59 and I’m so much happier, stronger and I feel like the ball is in my court; I feel like I’m in control. For me, the first 3 weeks were the hardest, but it gets easier. For anyone going through a breakup, I promise you can do it! Thank you Matthew. This article has motivated me to keep going!
I’m about 18 months into ‘no contact’ and it changed my life – for the better. Without the overthinking about whether he would call me, whether I should call him, should I accidentally on purpose show up where he is so we bump into each other etc. I’ve allowed myself to move on just being….me….and doing life without him. I know if we had stayed in our cycle of dipping in and out of contact I would have been stuck forever holding on just a little bit to a man who wasn’t right for me.
Never ever try to get him back if he dumped you girls!!!! I got him back after no contact and I was soooo happy BUT the truth is that he had power over me after that and tried to control me all the time. If I could only say something against that he said : I gave you last chance,if you don’t do that,I am going to break up with you again… and he did!! Left me for the second time. So girls,never lose your dignity. Never get your ex back,just move on.
I’ve done the same thing before perusal this article in my first break up with my first boyfriend and it worked. But when he came back I didn’t want him anymore. I’m going through my second breakup today and now I’m assured that this is what I have to do. Ladies, take care of yourself. If someone is worth it and actually wants you and is good for you, they would never make you doubt yourself and put you through pain. This type of men don’t love you, they love the love you give them, and they don’t find it anywhere else which is why they come back. I hope you all find someone that will never make you question your worth.
It is not satisfying it is not happiness it just comfort. This is true thats why after all these years I always go back to him even after he hurts me physically, verbally and emotionally. I am addicted and its not healthy anymore. This has to stop. Thank you for guiding me when no one has. This is a slap of reality. This advices are the things we need yet our friends and family didnt say it. But thanks to you. You woke me up.
Been together for a year and a half. He’s been doing this for the last three months, maybe even more. My no contact started yesterday. He called tonight three times and I didn’t answer. My mind and heart was doing flips. A couple minutes later I received this notification. Angels working over time. Thank you Matthew, you’re my Angel.
I got broken up with 5 hours ago. The first person I loved. I have cried non-stop and I have felt so empty and lost…. then I saw this. First article I saw when I came onto YouTube for a distraction. I believe I was meant to see this. I believe it because 20 minutes before perusal this I was planning all the ways I could get down on my knees and beg him to come back to me. This has given me some strength in fighting this addiction. Whether he comes to his senses or not, I need to take care of myself and take that no contact rule into immediate effect. Thank you, Matthew.
It hurts so bad when you meet the right person at the wrong time and you both get overwhelmed with each other. We’re still friends and promised to get back together when we work on ourselves but I’m so used to being with him I want to text him call him I really miss him. He told me he needs some space and I understand but it hurts so bad I want him back as fast as possible
9 years ago, I was so in love with a guy while he only wanted to be friends with benefits. We dragged on for over a year on and off so finally I moved out of country and we were on no contact period for 7 hours years. Now after 9 years later since we’ve first met, we are seeing each other again. He cares about me so much more than ever and wants to spend time with me everyday. If it’s meant to be, he will chase you back. I gave him the gift of “missing me”. I use to cry myself to sleep every other night because of how he was treating me but moving away and focusing on myself growth for many years, I present myself in a different light. So, for those of you who feels lost, lonely and abandoned, the darker the tunnel, the easier to spot the light.
I broke up last night. In the morning I try to text him and call him 10 times, finally I talked to him, he didn’t want to talk with me, but I begged him to stay, I asked him, do you still love me? He said ” I am no longer love you anymore “. I still beg him to stay. I just can’t accept it. It hurts so bad and I know I never get his respect. He use bad words to me..😢😔 still I keep listening and talking to him 🥺 I said I was a negative virus and a trash 😖 . After I watch this, I will love myself and move on. I have to accept that my love is over. Thanks 🙏
So true! Relationship was bringing in a lot of stress and miscommunication, so he broke up w me. Did a clean break and talked off and on for a few weeks, he was back and forth w his feelings about me (i still loved him but not more than I love myself) so I got sick of him and told him to get the rest of his shit and get out of my life. He freaked and said that’s not what he wanted. 🤷🏾♀️ Two days later he’s at my door wanting to start over bc he didn’t want to be without me…so yes raise the stakes, focus and fall madly in love with only yourself, and he’ll come around or someone better will
I finally told him not to contact me because he asked to remain friends and he was perfectly fine with the decision he just said ok and that was that. I think that made the break up even worse. His nonchalant attitude about it is driving me insane and I’m not the type to get in a relationship if I don’t see forever with them.
This advice totally works. When my ex and I broke up months ago, I was completely broken inside, I was in pain, but one thing that I knew for sure was that although I loved him so much I didn’t want to get him back again. So I stopped talking to him, I deleted him on social media, I totally got away from him and now I’m moving on. I mean It is not easy to do that when you really love that person and the thing you want the most is to be by their side, but he never loved me so I have to stand up for myself, and the good thing is I feel happier and I know I deserve better. Now I know I did the right thing 😀👌
The best advise ever.. thank you Matthew for the article. My no contact rule is still going on.. 1 year 5 months later… Ended a relationship with my then bf of 1 year, who just didnt know what he wanted.. I got tired feeling in libo.. .and walked out.. This time for me has been about just focusing on myself ..my career.. my family..my health… its been an amazing time of self discovery.. I know my worth and know I wouldnt settle for anything less.. Surprisingly he contacted me last month… after all this time.. via email .. stating he has regret for letting me go and apologising for never appreciating me..I never replied..thats validation enough no contact does work… I have moved on .. and for him.. his finally realised what he wants.. albeit quite late.. Lol.. but he now realises what he wants or will value in a woman.. no regrets.. love and happiness only to him and everyone out there reading this.. in an extremely selfish world out there.. we must practice self love..
Unrequited love case: no contact rule always works, but not the way you wanted it to. They will not miss you the way you miss them. I stopped showing up and completely disappeared from my unrequited love, and she actually texted me first… but I kept answering with one word per text. And then she’s got worried about someone… not me but herself. She feels like losing power and that freaks her out. « No contact » will not make the other person love you but they will not be on a pedestal anymore. Wether you are 17 or 62, no one has the right to treat you like an option when they were everything to you. Update : we’ve cut ties since eight months now, it still hurts the same everyday. Update: 1,5 year, still damaged
So this actually works. I thought I was doing this correctly by ignoring him for a few months, I thought that was ‘raising the stakes.’ But we kept ending up where we were at the beginning. I sent him a message telling him I’m cutting him off, blocked him on everything. I spent a few months doing things I’ve always wanted to do, learning to ride, go on holiday and generally learn to have fun on my own again. He spent months trying everything to get in contact with me and he’s now trying so hard and putting in more effort. I’m so happy and proud of him. Thank you Matthew 😊
I want to add another comment here since I see that my inital one was liked a lot. I really truely think that the circumstance of getting back together with someone who dumped you is rarely a good idea. You deserve someone who wants you no questions asked. You don’t deserve to be taken for granted..or to have to adopt some grand plan to convince someone to be with you unless you did something unfair to them. If they just made up their minds to go, then let them live with that décision. I truly think that there is only a 0.01% of people who get back with their ex that left and find it works out. I think the only way exes can work is if the breakup was mutual and to do with outside forces. But if the person just lost interest in you…respect yourself enough to say goodbye forever. I wasted too much time..even when my ex first came back, trying to make it work out. Don’t make the mistake of saying emotionally attached to people and relationships that are fickle and leave you drained.
” I promise you this, better time lie ahead if you can give yourself a genuine period of breaking away from that person. Because you will either move on and find someone better or you will give him a genuine opportunity to come to his senses and decide that you are what he really wants “. I could not have heard it said any better. This guy Matthew Hussey brings me so much comfort when i need it the most. Thank you Sir!
As someone who’s been through addiction before it’s shockingly accurate how similar it is. I couldn’t stop because I was scared and I got comfort from my addiction. I never walked away because when we were together I felt so secure but I knew I knew I was just clinging on to my fantasy of what could be instead of seeing it how it really was. Finally ready to move on.
This really helped and made me feel better. I broke up with an amazing man 16 days ago, because we had an issue he couldn’t overcome about something in my past, (that happened to me – not that I did). I miss him so much and haven’t contacted him since I ended it, he hasnt contacted me either. I’ve been working, been out with friends, been to see family and yet I can’t keep my mind occupied all of the time, so the sadness hits at weird times without warning. I hope he’ll be able to see his reaction was over the top, and he’ll miss me enough to try to get his head around what happened and fix things. If not, well then that’s the best decision I could have made, even though it hurts.
He left me because of his father.I got cancer after that and he wanted to be with me but troubles continued. I needed him but he let me down. I pretend that I’m okay before everyone but I’m completely broken to pieces. I just wonder how can somebody sleeps while other one is dying of pain because of him. Depression kills me slowly. God help every broken heart
Last time I listened to this article, I was in so much pain because I was just going through a heart break, nothing made me feel pain, watched all kinds of articles on break ups to make me feel better but nothing worked… It was an addiction…a few months later, I got over the addiction and thank God for the break up because now more than ever I realized he was not right for me, I now realize that I wasn’t even attracted to this person and that he wasn’t my person. Guess what? He shows up saying he loves me after I was already over him. I never went back to him and am so grateful for the rough times that I went through with heartache because it made me so strong and u have learned to never be addicted to anyone or anything
He broke up with me, said he didn’t love me anymore, not enough for a relationship. I lost my boyfriend and my best friend the same day and I can’t think of a world where we’re not friends. Even if I told him I won’t talk to him anymore, we still are going to see each other, cause we both are taking the same classes at college. It’s just hard
I have never felt this way towards someone. He was everything to me. It has been 5 months since we broke up, and 3 weeks since we stopped being friends. No contact after him being my only contact for a long time was very hard for me. I didn’t know who could ever replace his huge presence in my life. Truth be told, no one can replace him. I still love him, but he has moved on a long time ago as if we were never together. As if our time together was nothing to him while for me they’re unforgettable. It pains me seeing him with other girls, smiling and laughing at other people, and avoiding me. I’ve been staying strong, I haven’t talked to him even though I’ve had the urge to do so many times. It really hurts. I wanted a future with this person, I imagined a future with this person. I miss this person so very much even though it has been so long and seeing him causes me to feel that heartbreak again and again. I’ll continue going strong, but it really sucks.
There’s no getting him back until you’re looking good, feeling fine, and winning in life without him (display all those things on social media, but it has to be genuine, don’t bullshit him), and by that point, if you have any common sense you WILL NOT let him have the new & improved you, because he don’t deserve you at your best. Win back his love, remind him why he was attracted to you in the first place, then keep him close and under your thumb, but just out of arms reach, and permanently place him in the FRIEND ZONE! Befriend him on social media, tempt & tease him with pics, etc. and show him that you’re good without him, flaunt/display your new boyfriend who’s (hopefully) more deserving of your time, love, and affection, and put your ex through emotional torture, knowing he can never have you again. But don’t be mean & nasty about it. If you do, you’ll just give away your plan. Act innocent, and sugary sweet to him, as far as he knows there’s no hidden motive, you just wanna be friends. Me personally, I got all my exes on Facebook and I’m STUNTIN on’em!
I didn’t even realise that i was being addicted FOR MONTHS. Like, i only felt good when i was with him, and as soon as he leaves, i’m miserable and it’s a never-ending circle. I love him, i depend on him and that’s the point- you should NEVER give someone so much power to have over you! Thank you for this article, it’s eye-opening!
I don’t know how your articles seem to always post in sync with what I’m dealing with, but I’m feeling so grateful for your continuous guidance on how to navigate this maze of life and love. I work daily to manage my addiction to finding love and hope that one day I can graduate to simply loving, but for now will give this list a go in order to get past my current withdrawals from “almost love”. I may not comment often Matthew, but your website has truly changed my heart for the better and I’m so thankful for your gentle soul. 💝 Lisa
I used to watch all of your articles immediately after my breakup and put way too much confidence into “no contact”. 1 month of no talking turned into 6 months, and 6 months turned to 12 months. Here I am, one year later, wondering what I could’ve done for a better outcome. I miss him, and after 1 year of living a completely new and different lifestyle, I’m still convinced he’s the one for me. NC doesn’t always work, but I’ll keep believing it’s for the better
Great article! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.
Just wanted to say how much your articles have helped me up to this point in my life. I recently with through a break up (“what he’s thinking when he breaking up with you” article was amazing) this article is a sweet reminder of genuinely moving on wheter or not he does “come back ” I had a freind tell me to start posting pictures and etc to not have him think I’m depressed or etc. (I’m not depressed btw lol) I’m just not exactly fully ready yet/ pretend / put a on show for him or anyone! It’s about me and being genuinely happy just being with myself and living life. From the bottom of heart…. Thank you so much. You have changed my life in ways you may never know. Blessings.
I thought I found the right guy – we both knew we liked each other, were similar in personality and experienced situations we could both empathize with. The relationship was wonderful- and then he suddenly broke it off because he developed stronger feelings for another girl — “I don’t know how it happened, but I need to pursue it with all my heart” he told me. I was heartbroken as it dawned on me that he clearly didn’t like me as much as I liked him. Reality kicked in hard. I do trust in this no-contact rule as, while it was difficult to do at first, it has helped me get back on balance and cleared the rose-color from my eyes. Although, I went one step further and just straight up deleted him from my contacts – some people may not (and that’s fine) but for me it was to just make the clean break and avoid the temptation to reach out again – ladies (and gentlemen!) there is someone out there for you and whether your find them sooner or later, know that you all deserve to be happy!
This is amazing advice!! The thing is, because of the breakup I feel very vulnerable and less confident then i did before so i want my ex to come running back to me but i don’t actually want him back, i just want the validation of knowing that if i DID want him back, i COULD have him back. But i realize that those are very malicious thoughts so i should just move on without that validation…
This article is so on point I am going through this and whatever you said I can relate to it. The guy I fell in love with has trust issues insecurities and a huge ego even to communicate with me. For a year and a few months I put up with this and through that whole time I have him too much making every single moment about him just to get his attention and make him feel happy but what I got in return was pain and tears, my heart is broken completely. I stood up from this pain I told him what he was doing wrong and asked him to communicate with me and to change him a little bit for good. I don’t know why I thought he would feel guilty and change himself but he didn’t, he told me that he cannot change himself and that it is not his habit to communicate. Its been 11 days since I broke up with him and from that day all I do is cry feel stupid and my heart is completely shattered. I thought I had found my soulmate who understands me. I am doing the “no communication” thing and I guess this is working because he texted me 2 times but I am not going to respond until he decides if he wants me or not.
Mathew you are simply the best. Relationship advises are not very easy to pass on. But you do it so compassionately I can’t help but relate with it. My boyfriend told me he is done, its been 4 months and we are still seeing each other, we still talk, he’s still calling, but he is not saying about getting back together whenever we see. I get it now how he is making it easy for him, and harder for me.
I broke up with my ex boyfriend a year ago since then I have never been able to date someone new, every time I pass through him he gives me the look that gives me hope that he’s coming back but it’s been way too long to keep on hoping. This article came on right time for me thank you so much 😊 but the advice I would like to give to others people who haven’t been through break up yet please try no to be addicted on a feeling someone else gives you,don’t forget that the only person makes you happy the most is you
That’s what I did. Once I knew it was over, I didn’t want a yo-yo relationship. I changed my phone, never wrote to him, and after a year when he came to see me, I didn’t answer the door. In over a year, I have exercised, concentrated on my writing, etc…. That took guts, because I had saved his life over and over again and taken care of him through seizures and rehabs… But once I was done, I was done.
I’m through a breakup, I know it is hard, but he’s right, the no contact period is the best way to try to evade him/her. I’ve done stupid things these 2 weeks back, as she remembers all the promises we made together or try to date, but it didn’t work, it’s too soon. My advice, start the no contact period and ask him/her to block you on every social media you have, if they want you back, they will talk to you, I’m still testing. I’ll update soon. Meanwhile, try to meet new people, go out with your friends and family, do something healthy like workout, running, etc.
Your voice is so comforting. First guy I’ve liked since my boyfriend died 2 years ago, I was so afraid of dating again… But I opened my heart. Made some mistakes as my triggers reared their ugly heads, he said he was willing to be a team, and that j should be willing tk be open and communicate more…. Then he went silent for a bit and the next time I heard from him he said he just wanted to be friends for a while, and that I’d have to be happier with my life and more stable if he was to consider dating again… I started therapy and was inspired by liking this new guy becasue I don’t want to put my reactions onto a new love….. However there were a couple times when j did try and communicate my needs as I was feeling anxious, he kind of got defensive and dismissive. Anyway… I know he’s not emotional mature. And I’m not entirely looking to get back with him. But, I need to move on.. This triggered the big loss emotion from 2 years ago…and at first I said I didn’t wanna be friends…. Then I sent him a big message days later… And again.. And again, until he finally replied and said I can’t give you what you need. And then i sent more and more.. And then resort g to begging him to at least stick to his word and try and give it a chance….. And then he said I broke his trust. And then I said I’d be willing to show him that I’m working on my last traumas and I won’t go silent and abandon him, I won’t always have these big reactions if I have a safe place to express these feelings.
Once he breaks up with you he doesn’t want you back and even no contact won’t get him back. No contact only gets the person back if they did something wrong or you did something wrong and it causes them to apologize but if they break up with you because they lost interest then no contact will not help. A person that breaks up with you doesn’t love you. A person that loves you will fear losing you and will never break up first.
I remember when I watched a similar break up article that you did and I had just gotten dumped by my boyfriend and the article helped a lot. I tried having no contact with him over the 1 year we were apart and now we are back together again!:) If you are going through a breakup I just want to tell you that it will get easier to not have contact eventually, took me around 6 months but might not take as long for you! Stay strong, you can do it!
I watched this when it first came out and I was dealing with a breakup. Now I’m back dealing with a new breakup. I’ve cut off contact and I want this time to be different, not to see if I can get him back although I hope he discovers I’m what he really wants. But for my own mental & emotional health ❤️
I’ve been with the guy for almost 2 yrs now . We we help and support each other a lot. When pandemic started I moved to his apartment and in a way we’ve been living together ever since . He was so happy with me but now he says he’s not that into relationship. It really hurts when one doesn’t reciprocate. 😢 I have to step back and give him more space if I wanna try to save this relationship
I had to break up with him and I’m glad I did. I realized that I wasn’t worth any of his time. I shouldn’t have felt that way in the 1st place and He didn’t care. I had even spoke to him about how I was feeling before, so maybe it would have changed but it didn’t. I’m happier now, instead of being miserable. When I thought you were the one, you weren’t. I fell out of love with you, when you showed me you didn’t care. The only thing I’m sorry about… is not doing it sooner.
I haven’t been in love with anyone before my ex came along 😒 i loved him so much and make him think I was nothing but a trash,I flew to where he lives because I just wanna prove that he means the world to me, I called him once I land 😭 but he said sorry he already moved on 😭 I swear I couldn’t take it, I cried and lock myself in the room for two weeks 🙌🏽 I just can’t get him out of my mind, what I did I went back to God after everything happen I kneel down and pray,pray to help me get thru this, YES ! God helped me, I’m happy and enjoy my single life atm waiting patiently for someone better from our Lord 😊🙌🏽
I’m crying. And not because my heart is absolutely broken. I am happy after perusal this article. For six months I was living in this hell circkle but never noticed. This is true. If he broke up why doesn’t leave. After perusal I realised he will come over and over for pleasing his ego only. Will stop this asap. I am tired and drained stucking in the same for so long. I even unloved him after this article. A lot of better men are asking for my attention. Thank you 💖💖💖
i agreed to be friends with him, but then i realized i was better off without him. i was emotionally attached to him, to our memories. it hurts so much, i was miserably crying yesterday, all day. i havent eat for 2 days now because of him, so i told him everything i felt before cutting our connections off
four and half months later and still here I am obsessing over him and seeing him in my sleeps. we started complete no contact since day 1, the moment after break up blocked eachother from everywhere and deleted his number and all his pictures I ever had! and even blocked all his friends and deleted their numbers!! never saw or talked to him after break up. although I truely want to move on and I’ve dated 12 guys after him and the last one was perfect and treated me like a princess still I cant open my heart to anyone else or deal with being alone or move on…
I want to cry right now.😭 I have a long distance boyfriend living on another continent. He is French. One month into the relationship, he broke up with me to get together with another girl from his University. I was devastated. We still kept in contact for around 10 days, until I decided to break all contacts with him for a couple of months. 15 days of him being with the girl from his University, i.e 5 days after I ceased all contact, he texted me. And it’s been around a week since we have been texting. 2 days ago, he told me he will break up with his girlfriend. It was a mistake and HE WANTS TO WAIT FOR ME. He literally told me he made a mistake and he doesn’t know why he broke up with me. 2 hours ago…he told me he loves me. I think I’ll give him a second chance. Because yeah…I really love him. He is actually a really nice person❤ (He is very suicidal and depressed, so he felt like he needed someone closer to him. So I never blamed him. We have to wait atleast 2-3 years before we can see each other. And that’s a lot of time) Since he came back to me as soon as my period of no contact started, I guess…he actually does love me.❤
After 2 1/2 years of being in the same cycle of an on-again off-again situationship with him. I finally got the courage to make a clean break with him. Its been 3 days and it felts like hell. I unfriended him on everything. I love him.. sooo much! But he just wanted us to be friends with benefits after breaking up with me. I accepted that platonic friendship he wanted us to become. I stayed by his side. But later realized that it every time I am talking to him, it sucked me back. I gathered myself and after how many years I finally got the courage to make a clean break and I don’t care if I get him back. All I know is I want to end this pain and suffering and move on with my life. Believe me it is not easy.. it hurts like hell!! I hope i can get through this for real.
OMG, thank you so much for this article…I was dumped a month ago after a nine year relationship and I’ve been so broken hearted and in so much pain that I’ve made several attempts to take my own life and end this pain…he has called and text everyday just to check on me and everyday we speak the pain gets worst afterwards…I’m beginning my no contact today and follosing your advice to the t, if he doesn’t come back at least I’ll have some peace and it’ll help me to move on and find someone else who deserves me….thank you again and wish me luck😊
You want him back and when he does come back don’t accept him because he might brake you again. My boyfriend broke up with me because he didn’t like me anymore and now I can’t stop thinking about him. I didn’t know how much I loved him until I lost him. I want him back but at the same time I don’t. My heart wants him back but my brain says no. I honestly don’t know what to do. I still wanna be friends but I don’t wanna still like him so I Don’t know how to do the no contact with him😭😭😭
I have made so many mistakes with the love of my life. We’ve known each other for 8 years and have gone through hell because of my own doing. I was scared. I had no guts to truly commit to the relationship because of what I saw my dad go through in the past. My parents never showed love. Only negativity. The love of my life was always so sweet to me and perfect and I pushed her away because I was waiting for the negative moments to come all the time. I created those negative moments myself. Me. Now I’m currently trying to get her back and dumping my heart and soul into understanding and learning from my mistakes. She asked for space and time yesterday and I will stay strong. For myself and her. Us. I truly believe she is the one for me and I will never stop believing it. If you’re reading this now, always remember I love you. Forever. Your David.
My bf broke up with me this sunday, he said he was tired of me, and didnt wanted anything anymore with me, when he said that i got desperate and begged him to give me another chance (he broke up some other time before but we got back together right after) and he stil said no and for me to move on, but ever since then i have been feeling a lot of pain and just yesterday i sended him another message bc i didnt liked the way we broke up so i changed my words to him and said goodbye, im rlly hopefull that one day he might comeback but it scares me bc he might find someone else or that he already had eyes for someone else…i am trying to avoid any contact with him but it hurts me to see him online in social media, i was told to move on with my life and do things for myself wich is what im trying to do but i still think about him and want him…i really dont know if i should do my life, get myself better with hopes of him comming back or just try to forget about him once and for all…?
It still hurts. I keep asking myself why. How. How can another person do this to someone else? Love is precious and shouldn’t be thrown away so easily. It’s a shame there are no laws against doing this to someone else. It’s funny how it is an addiction to look. At first, emails and pictures and Facebook and Instagram. Looking and perusal. I made it through one day so far not looking to see what’s going on. I know, one day, but it’s a start. It’s hard. It still hurts…..
Protect your heart all all costs, hold back some of you, so the landing is softer, when your broken heart falls to pieces unto the floor ….. I wish I had done things differently but a person should not put conditions on me, and hold flaming hoops for me to jump through, those who truly love deeply, are the ones here, suffering, the others, maybe more shallow, or little feelings, they do not CARE what kind of pain they inflict on you when breaking up, it does not hurt them, they were pre planning it, and were gone before it all came down, watch for the non verbal clues.
My girlfriend broke up with me a couple of months ago but the no contact period couldn’t exist because we go to acting school together and see each other every day. Then last night she hooked up with another guy – so clearly nothing is working. How can I work around this? Should I even bother? Your articles have been very helpful in this tough time (I find they apply quite strongly to me and my situation) so thank you Matt
I see a lot of beautiful decent women who’s heart were broken because of some assholes. Oh Ofcourse I also see men who’s heart were broken as well but I see it less often. I myself had gone through the same thing, over and over but since my last break up I learned to not waste any more time with jerks😑 even if he wasn’t a jerk he surely doesn’t deserve a committed woman. The last guy I dated was a friend of mine for few months. The more me and him talked the more he got attracted to me, I told him I wanted to stay friends but he kept convincing me to meet up and talk then decide, he chased me and said all the right things so I agreed to give it a chance, we met twice for two whole days, and the dates were AMAZING we connected on a very deep level, we had a strong chemistry, strong attraction and familiarity, we got intimate, and the next day he sent me love song, he told me that its the first time he feels connected to someone emotionally during sex, and told me that he want to take things serious and be with me forever and I should not date anyone else.basically I’m his. Then 3 days later he started to fade, less text messages (if any), no phone calls, takes 4 hours to answer my message. I thought what’s going on ? I asked him what’s wrong are you upset? He said no, nothing he’s fine and he’s still into me! But obviously his actions contradict his words. I gave him space for a week, got busy with my life but nop.. he’s still act the same. Then I thought; ok so I’m not gonna waste time analysing or waiting for him to make a move, I’m not gonna be stupid again, if he’s not taking action than he sure not ready to be serious or he could be just a player so I broke it off.
I met this guy at work, he was super persistent. Finally gave him a chance, we hung out all the time.. then he just stopped trying. He’d text me all the time, saying we’ll hang out soon and then would never follow through. Makes me sad, cause I didn’t even like him. When I did start liking him he started pulling back… This is why I stay single.
My bf of 14 months just ended with me via text. I cried, called my close ones and then blocked him, his friends and family. If he couldn’t have the decency and man enough to face me, I’m not going to waste my time writing letters and chasing someone who doesn’t care. Days prior, I took time to myself and realised all of the emotional abuse I had to endure. Enough is enough. You are better than them
it hurts because we stopped talking for a while and then he came back apologizing and all and i thought that yes he finally realized my worth as soon as we started talking again he never mentioned us coming back and we kept talking as friends . guess I was just a person he got the validation he was seeking for with no intention to actually work things out .
How does one break up with one’s husband of 17 years with 2 kids involved? Today I stand at crossroads where I am being asked to leave by my husband. I will have to leave the kids behind as I need to search for a place and my financial independence. How do I get 21 days NO contact period if the kids are to stay with him? Parents have to constantly discuss their children so the clean breakup becomes a big issue.
Thanks for the reminder that I’m doing the right thing. My ex and I are at 5 1/2 months of no talking. For years we did this feedback loop you’re talking about and it got to the point that even if we weren’t in physical contact, I’d still receive a phone call every other week to “catch up.” It was so painful even as I was trying to move on with my life. He was everything I was looking for but our denominational differences in Christianity became too hard to compromise on his end. Of course, he told me that if we had gotten married he knows we would have been happy together. How painful is that? At least this time he agreed we should both stick to no talking for now. I don’t know if I want him back or not because it just doesn’t feel possible and I’m tired of feeling down about it. I want to see possibility again when it comes to my love life, you know? Again, thank you for highlighting something that can be embarrassing and reminding people there’s a way out of it. Keep being awesome!
My boyfriend and I broke up and we haven’t talked in a little over a month. I’ve tried to move on but there still is a big part of me that still loves him. Having the no contact period just made me want him more. I miss him even though he did me wrong and I need someone to knock some sense into me, but I just can’t stop thinking of what we could have been at this point in our relationship if he had never been a dick. It’s just that ever since we broke up I’ll see him around town and just be like “why did I ever let him go” and then I think about it and I realize but then there are many times like these where I try to make the decision whether I should tell him how I feel so we can work things out or not. Right now is a hard time for me because summer is the time when we really started to fall for each other and if I could I would do everything all over again.
I think you are right because the first time that we broke up, I felt like exactly you said, I did everything but even though we were getting back together, he ignored me, avoided me and he said to break up again and block me, the reason that he said was I want to focus on myself, and blocked me, now I am suffering the pain that I can’t express in words.
My ex ended things with me 4 weeks ago, we had only been together for 3-4 months but we built up such a strong connection quite quickly and he was so full on in the relationship. But unfortunately in the last few weeks in our relationship he had some bad news todo with one of his family members being seriously ill and had began to effect his life. He also started to change his behaviour around me, he stopped communicating properly and left me hanging around for him to respond everyday, he lost motivation to spend time with me. And when i brought all this up he said “I’m sorry but I can’t offer you everything right now, I can’t offer my full attention to you as I have alot to deal with right now” and “I just want to be left alone.” I’ve been doing the non-contact rule for over 3 weeks and haven’t heard anything from him. I’m still hanging around waiting for him to reach out but its making me feel frustrated that he hasn’t been in touch. I thought having some space would help but I’m really missing him everyday..
I should have gone into no contact as soon as we broke up. The break up was so unclear. But I betrayed myself by not doing that. I tried to stay friends because I wanted him back and in the process I ruined my mental health and my image in his eyes. I didn’t have the courage to fight the anxiety and pain that came whenever I tried to withdraw from him. And the worst thing is that he was my best friend and this was my first relationship ever. It was really bad for me to lose someone who I thought was always gonna be around no matter what and then to lose myself too.
Me and my guy broke up because my car broke down, I didn’t have a way to get to and from work, and my boyfriend (ex) said I should be an adult and find a way to get to work on my own. Meanwhile he didn’t pick me up that day because he was playing article games with his friends. I’m thinking no contact……not ever lol. What do you think ladies?
What to do when he just dumped you, using the excuse that he needs some space, and just after a month since the breakup, you find out that he is seeing other women…not just one, but he’s dating different women…and he’s drinking and partying a LOT? We used to fighting a lot, and just after the breakup he started drinking a lot, having fun and dating other girls. Its really sad and it hurts so much
I did this for months, but all that happened was that she moved on to someone new. I was cruel during the last half year of our relationship because I was having serious mental illness issues and didn’t really realize what was happening until it was too late. She left our four year relationship is October, which was fair, but then when I figured out what was going on and started getting help, she didn’t believe that the OCD was the root cause of our fighting ( which it was) and I couldn’t convince her otherwise. It’s been five months, I’ve given her as much space and I can, but all that happened was that she’s with someone else.
…but what if you haven´t been in contact for more than 2 years and your heart is still broken ?…. I still have dreams where we talk again and fix it… and I can´t move on. I´ve tried to make it work with two guys and doesn’t work… I don’t know what else to do and I don´t wanna feel like this for the rest of my life
It’s been a year since I have seen him…I pretend to be happy in front of everyone but whenever I am alone I feel so empty and I wonder if he ever remembers me…god I want to forget him but I can’t…my mind says to let go and heart says to hold on…I am just stuck and can’t focus on other crucial things…I just wanted to share it with somebody so thank you if you read this
matthew i have done the no contact rule for months over my on and off relationship of 3 years and what if he never comes back and doesnt care, if anything is happy with me not contacting him…i know what you will probably say, that i should not what someone like this but like you said im addicted to him and i cant forget him, my heart breaks and hes supposedly in another relationship 🙁
hey Matthew …i don’t know if you can answer my question.. i just broke up with a guy that i extremely like few days ago and the reason of the break up i said no for sex before marriage !! but the reason of not having sex before marriage is not for religious reason, I think i wanna give my virginity to someone meaningful. In the other hand, I really wanna get back to him so badly and I’m welling to give up my reasons. do you think it’s right to give up my values for a man that i liked ?
Hey… matthew, i saw yor article a couple months ago and i follow your suggestion. I did no contact periode in two month. He call me… he even visit my house to explain why he didn’t contact me that time. Now he even ask me to go out, but i dont know what to do… all i do is reject him.. is this right for me? To raise the stakes? Or playing hard to get?
Matthew, I’m having an issue that is bothering me which is similar, but different to what you addressed in this article. I’m on a carousel of assholes! Exes always come back around! They decide they don’t want anything with me, then several months later they’re blowing me up asking for another chance! I make a clean break. Don’t get that wrong about me. When they say they’re done, they’re dead to me. And I swear the f’ers coordinate it! I=Because I can have a lovely reprieve of being single for a couple of months, then all of a sudden two to four of them come back in a drone of “let’s make this girl miserable again when she’s just fine being independent.” Maybe one I would give a second chance, but most of the time I realize that it just wasn’t going to work out for whatever reason. But it’s killing me Matthew… Why do guys do this?! Why do guys reach out to exes they said they “hated” when they dated for a second chance. GET ME OFF THE ASSHOLE CAROUSEL!
I met a girl a few months ago I made my girlfriend. She has a pure heart, is honest, feminine, and we feel like we’ve known eachother our whole lives. She broke up with me the other day because her life is too turbulent with work and family issues. Her reasoning was showing up so amazing she felt bad she didn’t have the capacity to return it the same way. I told her many times our committment is more important and I’m more than willing to put in more work beginning. Also made it clear I know what I have to offer and will not waste it on someone that doesn’t take committment as seriously as I do. I have a strong feeling she’s going to try reaching back to me when her life settles a bit. (maybe a few weeks, months or a season) since our connection was so genuine and it was healthy while it lasted. My question is what do I say ? Part of me wants to keep my integrity and tell her too bad because throwing away a committment is a red flag. The other part of me recognizes that’s the best, most healthy relationship I’ve had with someone and she has excellent qualities to be a wife and mother. I’m so conflicted 😫
He was everything i needed. I hurt him. I hurt him so bad with my words because of my shitty anxiety and bad behaviour. Hey love, if you won’t be happy, pls don’t come back. But I’ll always pray that you’ll be happy atleast with someone else who never hurts your feelings💔 It’s breaking my heart that I hurt someone as good as you. You took care of me so well and I have just been toxic and complaining. I’m really sorry to put you through the shit. I just hope you’re okay taking care of yourself ❤️
Thank you so much… I just needed a little guide on this. My partner and I have been bestfriends and we have been dating since 2018 but she broke up with me saying she wants our friendship to be safe and don’t want to ruin it with relationship, she has feelings for me, loves me but wants to be just bestfriends, so even after 6 months of breakup nothing changed between us except a few couple things. I was giving my addiction and finding comfort there due to which she didn’t feel the need to be in a relationship with me. At times I would also get frustrated because, yes I’m ready for her to wait until she’s ready for a relationship but she keeps on saying she don’t want relationship in future but isn’t ready to let go of me, whenever someone tries to be with me, her face shows signs of jealousy.