The Do Not Spook Until Spooken to Tarot deck is designed to help readers explore the unknown and uncover the mysteries of their future. However, it is important to approach this deck with an open mind and courageous spirit. Tarot readings can provide insights into how to meet the right romantic partner and what could be standing in their way.
Tarot timing techniques can be challenging for Tarot readers, but they can help pinpoint when an event will occur. Some people have to speak the question out loud for it to be understood by their deck, while others communicate with their deck through energy and intuition. Tarot cards “speaking” to you may sound airy or mystical, but it is not something that can be taught by yourself.
To use a Tarot deck, sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and bring awareness to your breath. Focus on coping mechanisms and self-preservation strategies instead of filling your head and heart with shame and embarrassment. Tarot cards are in essence having a conversation with your Higher Self, and it is like experiencing a waking dream without the linear nature of printed text.
Megan, a speaking, visibility, and confidence coach for women and non-binary folks, emphasizes that following your intuition is the key to getting the right message from the cards. The message they give you is the one you need, and you should not get the cards “wrong” because the message they give you is the one you need.
📹 STOP WAITING For His Text & DO THIS Instead… | Matthew Hussey
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Is it okay to do tarot everyday?
Tarot cards can be used as a daily guide for meditation, self-improvement, and growth. To build a routine, read one card a day for 5-10 minutes each evening, depending on your mood. You can choose from the Major Cards or use all 78 cards depending on your topic. For specific topics, use one court, such as Coins/Pentacles for money, Wands for work or social life, Cups for love, and Swords for decisions and philosophical questionings.
Follow your intuition and connect with your deck better. 2 Cards readings are ideal for answering simple questions, such as whether to continue putting effort into a relationship or if there will be positive outcomes.
How to talk to tarot cards?
To effectively use tarot cards, ask open-ended questions and keep an open mind. The goal is to gain a new perspective and see yourself or a situation more clearly. To do this, relax and trust your own wisdom. Tarot is a tool to facilitate talking about things, so use language and knowledge that you already have to see it as a tool to facilitate talking about things. The four elements (earth, water, fire, and air) and numerology play a large role in the tarot, as most people already have some ideas about the meanings that can be drawn on. By doing so, the interpretations can be more personal and freer, as it allows for a more personal perspective.
In conclusion, tarot readings are a powerful tool for gaining insights and understanding one’s own perspective. By asking open-ended questions and trusting one’s own wisdom, readers can gain a new perspective and better understand themselves and situations.
Should I sleep with my tarot cards?
Tarot cards can serve as a valuable instrument for the interpretation of emotional states and dreams. Should a card with positive connotations or an intention to dream about be received, it may be beneficial to place the card under the pillow to enhance the experience.
What happens if you do too many tarot readings?
The warning signs for excessive Tarot use include a neglect of responsibilities, a sense of powerlessness in the absence of readings, and a loss of touch with reality. An excessive reliance on tarot can result in procrastination, poor decision-making, and a deterioration in personal relationships. It is erroneous to ascribe a higher-than-human power to Tarot cards; rather, they are a tool that enables the individual to gain insight into their subconscious mind, thereby empowering them.
How to become a tarot reader?
Tarot reading involves learning the meanings of individual cards, their connections, and how to do a reading. It can be a recreational activity or a full-time career. Stratford Career Institute offers a beginner’s course in astrology/parapsychology, which covers various aspects of the study of astrology, including tarot cards. To become a professional tarot reader, one must understand the law, practice their readings, deal with clients, and follow the steps outlined in the course.
What not to ask in tarot?
Tarot card readings can be a powerful tool for interpreting the world around us. However, it is important to avoid asking questions that you are not ready to answer, as they may reveal messages you are not yet ready to face. Some common questions to avoid include questions that have already been answered, questions about your future, questions about others, medical-type questions, the same question repeatedly, yes-or-no questions, and future-predicting questions.
To ensure a clear reading, it is essential to know the best practices for asking questions in tarot. Professional tarot readers share their favorite questions they hate answering, which can help you prepare for the best types of questions to ask in tarot readings. By following these guidelines, you can better prepare yourself for the insights and messages that come with a clear reading from tarot cards.
Can I read my own tarot cards?
Reading your own tarot cards is possible, but it’s important to do so with caution and not to harm yourself. Many people seek solace in tarot cards due to various reasons, such as feeling lost, seeking guidance, or trying to pick up a new hobby. Mariana Louis, a tarot teacher and practitioner of archetypal tarot, advises that learning tarot is a journey that takes time and patience.
Meg Jones Wall, author of Finding the Fool and founder of 3am. tarot, initially found reading the cards confusing but eventually returned to it. They recommend taking the process slow, paying attention to what you’re observing in the cards, and listening to the meanings instead of comparing keywords.
Juan Francisco, a psychic medium, believes that we all have the ability to be psychic and that tarot is a means of expressing that intuition. He believes that the cards speak to themes that have come up in human life and the life’s journey, making them an excellent tool for tapping into one’s intuitive side.
In conclusion, reading tarot cards is a valuable tool for those seeking guidance, direction, or to explore their intuitive side. However, it’s essential to approach the process with patience and curiosity, as it can change the way you approach life.
What not to do when reading tarot?
Reading Tarot cards can be a powerful tool for self-discovery, but it’s important to avoid making mistakes. Some common mistakes include pulling out the deck immediately after a challenging encounter, choosing the wrong spread, adding too many clarifiers, looking up too many card meanings, and reading about others’ feelings or motives. Additionally, doing multiple readings on a topic in one sitting can lead to frustration and confusion.
Tarot cards and other divination techniques won’t work if you aren’t in a clear state of mind. While it’s possible to read for yourself if you have a preferred outcome, it’s crucial to be in a neutral, calm space to accurately read for yourself. The worst time to do a Tarot reading is when you most want the answer, as this can lead to a more confusing and frustrating experience. Therefore, it’s essential to be in a neutral, calm space when reading for oneself.
Is it safe to read tarot cards?
Tarot cards, like other metaphysical tools, are as safe or dangerous as the messages they deliver. They provide clues into the subconscious and are not harmful themselves. The Tarot is often linked to witchcraft, as many practicing witches use it. However, not all witches use the Tarot. The Tarot is a divination tool used by witches to derive more symbolism and understanding for specific questions. Witchcraft and Tarot can co-exist separately, and reading Tarot does not necessarily mean practicing witchcraft. Both practices involve active engagement with intuition.
Is it OK to pull tarot cards for yourself?
Tarot readings can be done by beginners, providing insight into current situations, honoring intuition, and forecasting potential outcomes. To begin, clean the energy of your space by burning herbs, ringing bells or chimes, taking a bath, or using crystals. A Selenite wand is a popular energy refresher that aids clarity.
Sit comfortably and close your eyes, focusing on the protective energy surrounding you. Take deep breaths, think about your question or needing guidance, and keep your mind and heart open to the answers that may come through the cards. Shuffle the deck, focusing on your desired query, and shuffle the cards in front of you. The pattern laid out is called a “spread”, and the meaning of each card in combinations builds up to the overall answer to your query.
Before beginning to shuffle, know which spread you will be working with. As answers come through, it’s important to draw additional cards for further clarity or start with a new question from a different perspective. Tarot readings can be a powerful tool for personal growth and understanding.
Are tarot cards against Christianity?
The Bible offers counsel against the practice of sorcery, divination, soothsaying, fortunetelling, and the use of mediums and spiritists. While tarot cards may be employed for the purposes of divination and fortunetelling, it is meditation and archetype exploration that offer a more suitable avenue for such pursuits.
📹 12 Gaslighting Phrases Abusive People Use To Control You
Here some of the most common gaslighting phrases abusive people use to control you. Gaslighting is a type of emotional abuse …
The minute i feel insecure about how a guy feels or the minute i feel he’s slipping away or when i start wondering why and when my intuition kicks in is a red flag to me and that the guy isn’t up to par. Cause i know how guys act when they like me. And they text back every single time and doesn’t take them days. Girl, if it takes him all day and can’t lift a finger to say goodnight then move the hell on and find a guy that you won’t have to guess he’ll let u know.
My personal advice for everyone who is waiting for that one text or phone call from someone who you “think” you love and who doesn’t even bother to text or call you back is …. 1) Block them from all your social media & phones & work on improving yourself & your appearance 2) Stop stalking them and pay attention to yourself. Go out and do things with friends. 3) Stop checkling your phone to look for them and go for a walk without your phone for a change After 7 days of doing this I guarantee you will forget them and start loving yourself and paying attention to yourself. “Let them go, if they don’t come back they were never yours to begin with”
I kept waiting on a guy to text me, he meant everything to me. Weeks passed – nothing. One night I went with a friend to hike a huge 18 mile mountain (something I had never done before). We finish the hike, it took all day, I was beyond exhausted. It was nearly 11 PM at this point. My legs felt like jello. I fall into the car and check my phone. There he was. A text from him. He hadn’t crossed my mind a single time that day, I was too busy taking in the views of the wilderness around me. He was a million miles away from my mind on that day – and that’s the day he texted me. This is just to illustrate that sometimes, when you truly forget to wait for someone, that’s when the universe says “Ok. Now.”
I experienced that recently. I had a really hard time waiting for his messages. It was painful realizing he was already losing interest at that time. This is what I did: I stopped using social media for weeks, cut every communication I had with him, and started focusing on exploring places. I also exercised better from 5 to 7 days a week. The first week was hard, it was like I’m faking it all. I also experienced chest pains probably because of that breakdown I had before and after I decided to stop waiting for him. The following week was better. I still thought about him all the time, but chest pains are no longer there. I finished the works that I had to finish and since I still liked him, I came back but with a clearer mind. He reached out to me and I was excited to talk to him then he acted the same as he did before I left. I still waited for his replies, but I was no longer anxious because I already accepted that he can lose interest anytime or maybe he already did and there’s nothing more that I can do about it. That experience helped me focus more on things that matter and helping me grow. I don’t talk to him anymore because he’s doing the same game all over again.
My dearest ladies: easier said than done but prior to putting yourself out there in this difficult dating climate, make peace with the possibility that someone of value may never come along and that it is 100% okay, no matter how deeply in your soul you desire a partner. Some things don’t happen on surface level. Men can sense when you care so much and will play you like a fiddle. It’s not even about playing hard to get, I’ve been there. Just make peace and throw yourself into working out, your career, and ultimately building that strong confidence. It’s the true way to get the upper hand.
When he ghosts 👻 you, immerse yourself in something to distract you from him, your project, organise your house, clean, read a book, meditate, listen 👂 to podcast, exercise, go for a drive, focus on your purpose, watch a movie 🎥 When he doesn’t contact you or ghosts 👻 you, in some cases he’s trying to break you, to shake your emotional core stability, to dis-power you, he’s trying to use your emotional break down to boost hisself confidence/ego. Distract you from your purpose. DON’T LET HIM!!! BE IN YOUR POWER! 💪
You shift your focus on you and remember all the things you enjoy that make up parts of yourself. The rest will follow…😊 This is coming from someone who lost her job and boyfriend of 1 year on the same day end of January 2019, and two months later, I am in a new job and back on the dating scene with a new perspective – still working on myself and not investing all my energy and eggs in one basket on one person and I am much happier than I was in the last year. If you’ve been upset and crying and mourning a relationship, like I was in the last months, I’m telling you like I would tell myself at the end of the relationship, it does get better and you will smile again. ❤️
No matter how many things you find to distract yourself, sooner or later you will check your cellphone for another reasons and it’s gonna hurt once you see he didn’t look for you. If you get used to someone and from all the sudden he pulls away that’s going to hurt you. Living your life instead of waiting a text is a good technique but you can’t ignore your reality that you want that man so bad and that he brings you joy after spending so much time together and telling you so many sweet words. We are emotionally weak when it comes to having someone new in our lives, that’s our curse as women
Be present, recognize how your physical body is feeling. Body tight, tense, detached? Write down how you feel in these times of practicing being present in your physical body. Then you can better recall what you felt both physically and emotionally. Record these experiences and overtime you will see the growth. Making yourself present in this way will help your physical body to become more aware of both mind and body alike. So in those stressful times, you will be much more emotionally regulated and equipped to respond rather than to react.
I started doing music again because of the heartbreak. I’m so glad I did. Got like 27 songs now, most of them here on my website. I don’t think I had started again if it wasn’t for him. I will always be grateful to the universe I even had my chance with him. I screwed it up, I really did. It is a lesson and regret for life. But I’ve learned so much and has evolved as a human. I’m almost a different person. Thinking in another way. He still inspires me even tho we haven’t spoken for years now. Thinking of him every day and love him to death… but has finally accepted he is not coming back. And I wish him all the best that life could give him. ❤
The best way to stop thinking about/waiting for his OR her text… LIVE LIFE! I went back to college myself and now I’m afraid I won’t care or seek their attention ENOUGH to actually keep it when I decide to pursue someone else. And this is coming from a guy who used to expect contact daily or at least every couple of days (understandings we as adults are busy). But it seems when you’re too in to someone man OR woman they naturally (and almost involuntarily) take you for granted to some extend (some further than others). I’d rather focus on my purpose than mastering some GAME I have to play to keep someone interested in me. 🤷🏾♂️
The truth is time heals all. As time pass by you are less likely to care if the guy is into you or not. The truth is in the end some people will regret what they could of have with you if they feel your a good person, by the time they reach back it will be too late. Plus life’s too short to worry about someone who isn’t interested. I say forget him and pretend he never existed. He might call or text you back.
I was just waiting for “that” someone to text me and I decided to do something to distract me and kill the anxiety, so I started perusal this article and, oh la la! There it was the key to bring balance to my mind. Thank you Matthew for this little piece of advice that I needed to know in this very exact moment. And hope you have a nice day too 😊
I’m so sick of always being the one that gets heads over heels and ends up being hurt. Everytime I start great conversations with great chemistry but end up being the one that has to wait hours for a reply from the other one. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, … like the ones that I’m not interested in at all, really want to talk to me. But the ones I like, don’t even care about how I’m feeling. I’m so tired of this feeling and experience, I just want someone who wants me like I want him. You know the funny thing is that after the guy has contact with me/dated me, he always finds his soulmate. Happened to 2 guys with whom I was dating & I’m convinced will be with the one that I’m talking to too! -_-
As a mature woman I would like to say that any guy you have to play the waiting game with, is not worth your time! This is a big red flag! If there is a great connection between the two of you they “can’t wait” to see you again! You should always have a purpose in your life and being busy won’t allow you to get caught up in over -thinking everything with any guy that you date. There is also the other side of the coin where they come in too fast, which is also not good. (In fast, out fast!) When a relationship has potential, it flows and there aren’t a lot of questions because you have a respectful reciprocated communication and chemistry with each other. ❤ Great article Matthew!
I’m the type that …I won’t text again if he doesn’t respond back . Sometimes we go on days without talking and then he messages me telling me I’m the one that gets distant and doesn’t bother to text . Is this some type of game ??? I feel like if I act like I don’t care that he doesn’t text me, he will chase . I really like him….but I’m tired of waiting . And I’m tired of trying to be a high value woman and I only attract men I don’t want 😂
It took me awhile to realize this: no matter how many text messages he would send, I will never ever be happy. So I started getting happy by myself, get busy. Men don’t really care about the text messages. They care more about the time they spend with you. Live your life girl! Start getting happy! Stop looking for love in all the wrong places and one of those places include your guy!! People are flaky and fickle, and they are not your only source of happiness! If people realize that all they need to do to have their dreams and desires is START GETTING HAPPY, this world would be a better happier place. Happiness is in yourself, not in external sources.
Separation anxiety is what we feel, in this anxious waiting. It´s simple, we humans learn early on that what is most important to our survival is connection, without it we are dead. And that is very true, if you are an infant. That fear, that same feeling that a child has, never really goes away. And some suffer from it more than others, because they had parents or caregivers that of different reasons triggered that fear within them more often. The real solutions is to understand where the anxiety really comes from and realize that even if the threat feels real, it is not. Because you are not an infant anymore, and very capable to take care of your most basic needs alone. The death threat is no more. This anxiety, separation anxiety, is also called death anxiety. Because in one stage of our lives it is true, it is a matter of life and death. This is something culture makes us forget, how fragile life really is, especially human life in those first years. So have pity on yourself, and understand that this feeling is universal, all feels this way, because it is completely natural. It is simply part of being alive.
yo no joke, im going through the right now. She texts me telling me she misses me, we article chat and things go well, but then just hangs up with no reply to any of my texts, or calls, so i wait on her and days go by and she just texts me outta nowhere saying she misses me. Like are you serious? days go by and all you have to say is you miss me? no explanation for why their was no communication but yet has time to post on instagram and snap? im not playing no games.
This goes both ways. Either way, balance is key. If communication is nonexistent, don’t waste your time on this person. Busy or not, you can still be able to find 5seconds of your day to simply say you’re busy and will text back when you can. If you’re just that busy for someone, then don’t feel anyone in to begin with. People don’t deserve to wait around forever for someone. How will you build a life with someone if you’re too busy? Make time for those you care about. Simple as that. Love them, understand them, and if all else fails, just break up. Don’t waste people’s time – it’s all we have until we don’t.
It’s like the weirdos have some sixth sense that let’s them know you’re completely getting over them and that’s exactly when they text you to keep you hooked and concentrated on them. The same way they also sense your agony and desperate clinging after them and yet ignore you on purpose lol. You’re smart and so on point with the advice to engage on some deep and difficult activity that will keep your energy away from agony. You should know that the deeper your agony goes the higher your bliss can reach. You got to look for that to balance your life with so nobody throws you out of it by ignoring you. The power is in you. Bliss is power. Power is your energy producing bliss. For me it was belly dance work out…so difficult in the beggining but as helpful at the same time. Ironically those who make you agonize aren’t really worth it. Their usefulness is to only make you go deeper into yourself and work on your inner issues or bad mental wiring. P.S. I’ve agonized over a person who didn’t understand the concept of agony. How tragic is that lol?
There was this guy I liked and I felt like it was always me texting and he would take 30min-4hrs to answer. And I felt horrible, I felt like he was all I had. I remember constantly looking back at what I said, thinking i said something wrong. I had all these situations going through my head. Because as I said I thought all my time should be spent on him and not myself. And that was wrong. I Learned to put down my phone and do stuff I want to do. And if they come to me, they come to me. And i really don’t have that problem anymore. Because I’m going out having fun, and allowing myself to grow and thrive. And I realized that until I’m ok with being by myself, I don’t need to be in a relationship.
Since he left quietly. I was waiting for his text back. Days passed, months passed and even a year passed. Before that day, I was crying helplessly into my blanket saying his name again n again. Wow. Went to market without a single reason left myy phone at home. Ah, at night I saw his message. My heart pound out a little with pain in chest. It was a single ” hey? ” and trust me, I didn’t reply it to yet. And see, he didn’t bother it for asking a reason. Ahh, I still cry, I still can’t found my feets in the clouds of tears. Pray for me!
im glad i found this. there was somebody i was very close friends with for 8 months before they got in a romantic relationship. through those 8 months, we spoke multiple times every day via chat or call, had pet names for each other, visited each other, confided in one another, prayed together, etc. i never had that with anyone. I was smitten through those 8 months until they got in a relationship. that’s when the gas lighting, their distancing from me, and disrespect to my boundaries started to occur. if we we’re going to continue to be “friends” which myself and everyone else thought was a romance, things had to change. I couldn’t help that intense romantic feelings had already developed (which i was hoping were mutual.) Anxiously I waited over an entire year for a single text message from them. I didn’t know it then but I wanted them to want me. They had this other person in their life but i always hoped they’d pick me. Over and over again i’d repeat the cycle of hoping to hear from them while denying i had any romantic feelings for them. Anyway, to make a long story short i ended what I later learned was a toxic and abusive “relationship.” What I’ve learned is that what I was looking for all along was to be wanted by this person, even now. Please pray for me.
“Do they like me the same way they did yesterday?” – so funny and sad at the same time! When you are really anxious about connections, no book reading or anything helps, I can tell you. What helped me a lot is REASSURING MYSELF that I’m good enough, lovely, precious and a very good company, and either the person is meant for me, hence will answer or they are not meant to stay in my life. Either way: Letting go helps as you cannot force somebody to love or be with you. It might be very hard to accept that (as we don’t want to waste our time on “the wrong” person) but it will pay off in the long run. Also – the other person senses your energy (when you are needy and perhaps even ANGRY at the person at not replying as quick as you wish to), what slows the whole process even more down. I have had it so many times that the person got in touch with me when I detached myself – even if it was just for the tiniest, slightest moment (whereas nothing came when I stared at my phone constantly). Bless 💜🙏💜
keep your options wide open. Love yourself love your single life until the relationship is official. focus on your own goals and what makes you happy. If they care they will compete with your options for your attention. They will also respect your personal time. If they stick around they will also Appreciate the time you spend with them. They will also collaborate with you for a potential relationship upgrade.Take that time to see you really like them. Because loneliness can make you think you like someone. When you have options you’ll be more choosy with who you want to spend time with.
I have gone through this so many times and am going through it right now. I just don’t understand why it happens. There are times I want to break into tears and instead I choke them back and try to do something to make me feel better. But I find myself checking to see if they were active on social media and then I get more upset that they are clearly free enough to be on there but not message me and I feel like I have a great connection with that person and don’t know why its not reciprocated when it seems like just days before when we hung out that we were completely heading in the right direction. Ghosting sucks people, don’t do it to someone, its really not fun for them to go through that..
Life was a bit simpler back before the internet/cell phones. We had to call someone on the telephone, actually have a conversation, make a date and stick with it. This 24/7 expectation of connection is ruining people. We didn’t freak out if we didn’t see or hear from someone every day. Simpler times.
Hey Mathew! This article was something which exactly made me feel the way I really have been doing on a daily basis. Each and every sentence of yours left me spellbound but also made me feel happy that yes,there are other people also who too feels the same as I have been. And I really can’t Thankyou enough for taking up this topic hence becoming my guiding light when the path seemed so dark.❤️
I love this quote by Charlie Wardle: “A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not on the branch but on its own wings.” – This is what I remind myself. Build a rich and fulfilling life. Do things that we feel passionate about, that make us feel purposeful, that enable us to grow, that strengthen us, that make us come alive, that liberate us, that stabilise us. I think it’s vital to surround ourselves with people who love us and who we love, for it keeps our soul warm and our heart grateful. We do not delegate our happiness to another person, we take responsibility for it. Instead of losing myself in a man, and it’s so easy to do so, I choose to ground my energy, bring the focus back to myself, and trust that I am going to be okay. Yes, I choose to trust my wings.
Not everybody deserves to know You .. Step Out .. you are missing on so much just by waiting for a boy who don’t care about you .. That’s an eye opener that it’s time to say goodbye .. Person who is tired of you in just a few months how could you expect him to be there for you lifetime .. Open your eyes For God’s Sake .. Live and Love Your Life instead of being someone’s remote Control ✌📝
My tears came down as I’m listening to this article. It’s 11:35pm central time… If I can scream…I would do it right now. Exactly what and how I felt throughout the day… Even when it’s so much I seem to be having fun with my friends today… I think of him non-stop. I would frequently check my phone for his text…to make sure I’ll respond to him.
After years of struggle in the dating world, a friend of mine told me about you and to watch your articles. It was the best thing I could have done to get over break ups or ghosted on or rejections, etc. Not only do you give advice on what to say at times, but also on how to value yourself. I find myself a lot just nodding along thinking “exactly, he’s so right” and today, I am so happy to say was the first time in a few years that when a guy I liked and was seeing just showed his true colors and ghosted on me without the maturity to just telling me he didn’t have anymore interest, today was the first day I was able to easily move on. No “woe is me”, no “what’s wrong with me”, no “did I do something wrong”, but instead acceptance and no longer the need to chase (like I have done in the past). So any time you may feel tired or think that repeating the same advice over and over isn’t useful, just remember, there are women like me out there hearing you for the first time and finding their strength to truly value themselves. And you are to thank to help us get there. Thank you, Matthew 🙂
This article helped me a little bit. It was too beautiful to be true. He replied fast, we talked every day n night every moment. Even when he was at work he was texting me 90% of the time. And after 2 weeks he dissapeard for 5 days. I texted him and he said “i dont ignore im just busy” he kept saying this but I know it wasn’t true. It’s really hard at night tho because sometimes I still want to text him but then I know he doesn’t care
So true.. Another thing is that people often say ‘my other half’ about their partner. I know it might sounds sweet but subconsciously they tell themselves that they are not complite! When you get into relationship remember you are one whole piece Not Half! You don’t look for a missing puzzle…. All the best for everyone
uh….no, at least for me this isn’t true at all. Men always have to make the first move and it always feels like I appear needy and tryhard, especially if the girl sits around waiting for me to always text first. I’ll intentionally ignore a day or two because I want her to start conversations sometimes too (effort from her side is awesome to see and lets me know I’m not being annoying). Idk, I really disagree with this, if you wanna talk, TAKE INITIAVE, at least I love that from girls, even if it’s just occassionally
This isn’t a gender specific issue. It’s part of the anxiety during relationship formation and men can feel the exact same thing while waiting for a woman to respond. Respond when you can and just focus on your life. The right person won’t intentionally trigger your anxiety so long as you actively avoid putting yourself in that state.
In the Olden Olden Olden days a maiden would sit alone in a meadow, plucking the petals from a daisy and whispering to herself “he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not” and, eventually, the flower would tell her… Possibly there is a lack of daisies in the modern world. Or, perhaps, we have forgotten that it is okay to yearn for someone, for a little while, and then get on with life. Regardless of whether he loves me or loves me not.
A word of advice – while I’m not discrediting the advice, sometimes making the first move is crucial. Sure some guys can be real pricks, but then some of us may just be scared to make the move (as silly as that may sound). But it’s true – some guys may just feel guilty and will stay silent, because we don’t believe we either deserve another chance or that we’ll be forgiven and will be ignored.
I find you girls comments fascinating, because they are exactly the sort of comments I hear on the guys version of these articles. It’s interesting to see that you go through exactly the same thing. Guys preach that girls lose interest if you’re too keen, which seems to be the case most of the time. game of love aye.
I don’t get it. About 1 and a half months ago, we texted EVERY SINGLE DAY! Either he started texting me or I did. It was balanced. We startet texting each other 3 times a day and for ours. We have/had a connection. We really did. We both replied to each other within secconds. What happened??? How??? What???? How can something change so drastically in such a short time??
I have met someone on a chat website. We been on and off since April of this year. One time he shows affection, sometimes he just ignores and disappears or act distant and cold. It confused me but i cant stop thonking about him its like an addiction. But its very tiring ; im exausted from waiting his response.
It has been three months since my breakup, and I’m starting to live again, after perusal so many of your articles I am getting to know myself more and all that mistakes I’ve done past few years, I am loving myself more now. You advices are so deep and realistic, maybe I’ll follow those with time and learn from it. Thank you so much for your work I appreciate it a lot, I know you may not read my comment but still it needs to be appreciated. Thanks a lot!
Great article. I am in a long distance relationship almost 3 years now. Our only real means of communication is texting and article calls as we rarely can spend.time together. This article has truly helped me realize that my feelings of hurt and loneliness are real. I’m not being overly sensitive as he says, these negative feelings are common in waiting for texts. One thing….on occasion I try and not text him much or at all and I as much as not reaching out to him whom I love so much is painful for me….well on those days what does he do? He sends me quite long texts. Loving texts. But again ONLY on days that I refrain. What is up with that???? Anyone know?
I agree completely with this but would add 1 additional thought. You can go too far in being independent. It’s natural to desire companionship, so this craving to get a text can be part of that. IOW don’t be ashamed of wanting to hear from someone you like. I think it’s OK to feel that for a while, as it’ll show the other person you sincerely want them in your life. But just don’t let it go too far or for too long and listen to that instinct telling you his lack of attention shows he doesn’t reciprocate.
Hey, I’m a Japanese women. I’m in a long distance relationship with American guy who doesn’t good at communicate on online. He doesn’t reply and call frequently. I’m exhausted for waiting for his reply and time difference is getting this matter wrong 🙁 Right now, I’m wondering whether I should break up with him or not. This article makes me feel better. I owe you a lot!!
I was looking for something like this from you two weeks ago bcoz I have experienced the same thing. Today I am okay bcoz I already gave him up and live my life. I hated the fact the he left without saying anything nor text me or call that’s BS to do someone who gave all. I have life and living peacefully.
This is an amazing article which I believe 100%. I’ve also realized the benefits of focusing on other things more meaningful of life and it makes me happy to focus on that instead of a boy. I’m soooo gonna watch this article everyday to remind myself. For any girl who is obsessing over any guy and wants to stop, we can do this 💪🏽
Believe me or not, I cried when I first saw that amazing article, I felt a great sensation, cause I know that I’m not alone in this world, I’m in a worse periode, waiting for a message from an important person in my life, that I broke up with 4 days ago, I’m trying to find a way to stop staring at my phone, thanks a million Matthew, that helps me a lot
I like this girl and I reached out to her for both times we hooked up. I haven’t heard anything from her since last we saw each other, about 2 weeks ago. I’m sure if I messaged her she’d respond, but I don’t want to be the one reaching out each time. I feel that if she doesn’t initiate once then it means she doesn’t want to see me anymore.
My bf n i had a long distance relationship….he broke up with his partner that time and asked me to just be there for him to be as a support to move on..being a good Frnd I did that.i spend the whole corona year on him to help him move on…after a year of talking ….we both fell in love with each other …he loved me like anything….i met him for one time only after we started dating for 2 days in my besties wedding…we made love ..bt the day didn’t went great …i observed that he was looking more at my girlfriends .and complimenting everyone except me..I felt wrong n called him out for it…and we had fight … When we went to our houses ..n talked…i told him let’s breakup..becoz of what happened… He said he loves me a lot n want one more chance and said the situation wasn’t good …i gave him benefit of doubt n gave him one more chance….after 1 month ..the distance started increasing day by day .he will not reply on my calls or messages…i had to call n mes. For 3 days to get on one single call..he always said he is businessman so he is busy…he does gym 2 hours n party with his frnz etc…i told him that if he had time for all this then why no time for me…we argued … Cut to 3 months after i met him…he broke up with me becoz i argue …. I wanted us to not fall apart so i tried to tell him about what wrong is going in our relationship… At the end i lost him as a bf and as a Frnd…i don’t no wht I could do better…i m in a bad space …i lost a good amount of my male frnz as of him.
I kept waiting on my exbf text me. I keep perusal my phone every 5 mins. Then i realized that i lived in jungle and there is no signal lol. Relationship is about team work. you can’t do it your self, you need someone else to make it perfect. You need to be treated like you treated them. If you dont get equal take and give then this person is not for you. Look forward and keep moving, someone better waiting for you.
I’m a guy and I find it funny and frustrating that the advice I see so often from both the women and men’s sides are to never chase. So now we have a situation where both people in this relationship are playing a stupid game of chicken refusing to budge and waiting for the other person to give chase, initiate a text or reply.
I think you’re right about the purpose thing . Some women make their man their purpose; they’re at their beck and call, and ready to drop everything when they finally receive that text. Or they don’t get the text and they don’t know what to do with themselves because somehow their guy has become their personal sense of self-worth, validation-giver and they don’t realise that THAT is making them unattractive. They’re TOO attainable and needy. I admit a text from a sexy man can be exciting but it shouldn’t be the main event of your week and definitely not something that makes or breaks your value.
İ love a British guy, I don’t know how it happened, but I love him immensely and even though I’ve been trying for a year, I can’t give up, I think I love the dreams I had with him. It makes me sad sometimes I cry for hours at night, it doesn’t seem possible to forget him, give me advice please, I love him so madly, And this love is hurting me because it is unrequited, he is younger than me, I realized with him that age doesn’t matter. Please give me some advice, we had an online relationship and it’s over but i still can’t give up on him
I have a life outside of dating and friendships, those other activities only temporarily fill the void of human connection. I don’t care how preoccupied you are, at some point we all want people to connect with. Beyond texting or phone calls, face to face interaction. That’s kinda the problem with today’s world, we glorify being busy and we forget to simply connect.
Here’s my tip. If you feel like you have to check your phone often. Just turn your phone off. And go work on other projects: clean, paint your nails, cook a new recipe, watch a movie, watch funny articles, etc. You’ll accomplish so much and you won’t even think about him. You led a productive life before him and you will still have it if he’s still in your life.
If someone really into you, even youre in a relationship status, he will make time for you to text/call or update you. Not a guy who will text you if theres no one to talk. The essence of text/call is the reminder that they remember you, you are part of their day and routine. But dont be so stupid and blind to not to see whats happening. Remember youre just hurting your own feelings just to save that person who is not reaching you up.
I have waited for my ex for 1/5 year to open his eyes and see how much iloved and cared for him and honestly i regret it . Someone who choses to let you go is not the 1 for you. Unfortunately, it was one sided. He only wanted my attention and when he didn’t need it anymore, he ghosted me and treated me the worst . Girls, stay strong and don’t let no body use and drop u ❤⚘💎
Powerful! I’m glad someone else finally gets it. Great content 😊 It’s a lesson that I had to learn and I’m so thankful for it! Now I have a full life- living it out with purpose and passion. My joy isn’t predicated on the guy I date. I know my worth and It comes from a genuine love for life and self. And that’s true attractiveness. I want someone to compliment my life not complete it… because I bring a complete person to the table and seek the same.
Oh Matthew, this is sooo cool! I mean, I don’t have any problems with my relationship right now or I don’t try to “get my ex back” or “move on” 🤣 but your little speeches in every article, whatever the topic is, makes me feel so motivated to start in the next day and do something AMAZING, thank you so much for that!! Oh and I think I improved my english a lot just with listening to you ☺️ again, thank you, this literary made my day! Greetings from Germany/Poland, Magdalena
I’m hoping every phone call and text is him😢 I just don’t understand how he just doesn’t live me in an instant. However, I heard a motivational speaker ask,”does this person stimulate you emotionally, spiritually, and mentally?” … My answer was a hard and honest NO. He was emotionally unavailable and spiritually void so I’m not really missing anything 🤷🏾♀️
When you see no light…! Right things happen to you at the exact time when you lose hope. This thought of waiting for the text was troubling me and I open YouTube and see this article as a suggestion. It’s divine. Stay blessed you all. My message to y’all “You are capable and you are enough”. Peace out ✌️
I honestly have watched this particular article at least three or four times and always have the best of intentions and wind up focusing on myself in those moments where I am just waiting and waiting and waiting and it doesn’t take long for me focusing on myself to catch his attention… But then I just go back to devoting all of my time and energy into him rather than focusing on myself and then I wind up in this vicious cycle repeatedly. Some days are good and loving and caring and then other days it’s like I don’t exist and I wonder why there’s so many ups and downs and it’s just so frustrating. I have plenty to do when he’s not here… I don’t know why I tend to just focus on wanting his attention more instead. It’s honestly as if I’m desperate and I hate thinking that about myself
I like to address this issue head on, if they don’t respond back to a question or go days without communication I put it out there. bc their response or lack there of is something we need to have to decide if that’s what you want. If it becomes a pattern, then you know what to do, if they work on their miscommunication then great, your mature communication solved the issue. Without Getting frustrated or waiting around.
I feel like us women know deep down what we’re supposed to do the moment it takes him too long to respond. Because we’re all beautiful and powerful and were living our lives to the fullest before we even met him. It’s really hope that kills us when he ghosts and the only way that scar will heal is time away from his contact. We should realise that the longer he ghosts, the more he thinks it’s okay for us to be disrespected. If we think deep down how much it hurts when we think about him, we already know he’s not the one for us. Even so, it’s hard to let go because we fantasised him to be the ideal partner and there is still hope that one day he might just turn out to be that perfect man who will sweep you off your feet. And learning to let go of that hope takes time. In fact the only solution is time. Give yourself a deadline to cut him off. Travel, meet new people. There really is no other way if the feelings you once developed with him were real.
Yaa that’s what exactly happen with me from sometimes. it’s a 2:14 am right now and I don’t get sleep because I had not talk with him as per my satisfaction. This being happening from several weeks, I know he loves me more but now I’m unable to tell him how much painful for me these silly things. So, Thanks you may I’ll try to help my self and used to do something new and creative.
I hate dating for all the stupid rules and mind games involved. The not showing you care game is stupid and i dont wanna do it. If you dont have good intentions just dont bother someone who is looking for something serious. If a man wants a casual hook up just look for someone who also wants that and dont break someones heart who wasnt looking for a casual thing. I hate all the games.
How are you supposed to react when y’all are actually dating but her texting is slim to none? No good morning text when the night before we had an amazing date. Goes all day with no response. Then at night when I’m winding down she reaches out. How do you tell someone you need more than just one text a day to be happy?
He is happy and will be with his fiancee ..not going to do anything or cut off that plan for me … I m going to accept this ..going to focus on my career ..if he is not meant for me he will not ..but of destiny written him for me …this whole situation going to change in positive way … I will be happy and accept .. promise😔 all the decision life made for me …
It’s 2:06 am in North India, he have anger issue he blocked me cuz i talked rude to him he told me millions times that he wanna breakup but also after anger ends he cries that he don’t want to loose me …. i wonder he can’t tolerate one negative thing about me but i tolerate everything he do .. even it’s very hurtful, i was the one who was there for him when no one was i loved him i said i love you first everytime he breaks up i beg him to not to do…… But this time he blocked me. I love him so muchhhh and my heart feels like he loves me toooo but at this point of situation i don’t know what should I do ….
My friend and I got same crush* We both asked his ig username and started texting him…. And he also gives me late replies and simple ones! Next morning my friend asked how do you guys text I said somehow nice she started telling me he gives fast replies he’s so sweet and funny! And I was so hurt! And I decided to move on but when I see him I fall for him even more😞
However, there is no true feeling and sense of commitment when you don’t let yourself vulnerable enough to be affected by the other in a loving relationship when there might not be there for you or as much as you feel it like commitment from them. If you support yourself so much that you don’t need anyone, then why to be in a loving relationship anyway ? It feels like more selfish to me, rather than protection, just to do things for yourself and occupy your time, so you show them you don’t need them, like their attention, affection, in several ways, like texting is one of them. Just to play cool I mean so that you are more sexy to them. That’s a selfish game on my opinion just to win somebody. But this somebody has to want you equally anyway, so that this can be a healthy progress in the relationship. Because if they don’t, then your protection and support for yourself steps in.
🤦♂️ this girl I’m talking to goes hours without texting me and she said why was I blowing her phone up I said because I wanted to talk to you I just got off work and she said I’m overwhelming her so I think ima just not hit her up anymore this someone I slept with 5 times acting like this 😞kinda hurts a lil bit
Please give me a solution here. I’ve been bewildered about my further actions for about 5 days. My girlfriend is calm and introverted. We had a good friendship with each other. We used to chat daily and meet often. Besides that, it’s been 3 months. To be honest, I cherish her inside of my mind sometimes, I flirt with her but she doesn’t mind it at all. However, we had some misunderstandings a week back like she was ignoring me suddenly as I became so insane pestering her to talk with me and she was very reluctant then. Additionally, she told me that I was acting insane and that she can’t stand it even. After that, I also went no contact for 2 days and she texted me suddenly, but I showed her my reluctance at that moment. As a consequence, neither she is bothering me nor me. What should I do now? I’m so fearful of losing her. Thanks in advance to give your imperative time to get rid of it.
My ex blacked everywhere last week I texted her to apologize again after 1 week break up I asked her for a second chance again she said I’m always sorry for the moment but at the point she’s not giving out any chance she want to move with her life & she tell me she hope I can do the same and she tell me I don’t need to be in no relationship the only thing I need is fixing myself and told I already did and she said fixing doesn’t work overnight and she tell me to stop texting her or calling her and focus on myself And to I texte le her to she told me to stop text her again she don’t want to be with me anymore she’s not attracted to me anymore & she said the more I text her or call the more she’s not cannot to stand with me & she said she already have someone else but I think she’s lying idk And I told her I want to be a better man for her she said she don’t want me to be a better man for the only thing she me to leave her alone she told me to get over her 🤦🏾🤦🏾
Is there not a dude like me that is waiting for her to text Nd it hurts cuhz yu can’t stop texting for them to talk Edit: I watched the article and read a lot of the comments, girls us guys have the same problems I’m dealing with it rn Nd I’m just not gonna text her for a week and see wat happens, I might update y’all if I remember.
Hey, I need a help My boyfriend is depressed right now and he ask me to leave him to make my self happier with another one and don’t spend my time waiting for him And he told me that he lost the interest in all his life also in me too And he afraid if he pass this hard time not back in Love with me Could I leave him or wait for him???
Step 1: Know your own value. Step 2: Realise that the person you thought that you were dating… is a figment of your imagination. Step 3: Realise that you cannot fix them or change them. Step 4: Walk away, AND NEVER LOOK BACK. Step 5: Learn from the experience, including “red flags” that you missed early on (so that you don’t make the same mistake by dating another gaslighter).
I think their real goal is to make you an emotional wreck. It’s exhausting not to be right about anything. Just the effort you put in defending the truth is completely draining. They have you doing this over and over. It starts out small, then it escalates. It’s all about convincing you that you are once again mistaken.
I always knew he was lying, cheating, belittling me and gaslighting, but to hear all of these phrases he used with me actually defined as gaslighting made me see my own behavior of begging him for forgiveness when I had done nothing wrong and giving my power to him. This was a huge break through for me just now. Thank you for posting these articles to help others. 🙏🏼❤️
My biggest mistake in life was that I stayed married to a gaslighter for 17 years!!! So glad that I eventually managed to get myself and my girls out of the extremely toxic abusive relationship. What eventually gave me power to do so, was seeing the same abuse starting to happen to my eldest daughter by her dad (my abusive husband)!! Divorced for 5 years now, never been happier!!
It’s taken me 59 years to see and realise that the only family I have (the ones I was taught to believe in as a safety net before anything/anyone else) are all toxically enmeshed in a unprocessed and trauma-bonded cult around a narcissistic mother, and that I’ve been emotionally abused in private and emotionally neglected in childhood by all my immediate family my whole life as the youngest (and ‘invisible’) one, and that in so many key respects Ive had to emotionally parent myself. It’s taken a phenomenal tole on me but also on my life chances. I’m still single, jobless and broke (despite being well-educated) and very, very scared. I know I have symptoms of CPTSD but I can’t afford support therapy, and what caused me to suddenly realise all this was one year ago when I suddenly found myself alone and dependent on their support after Brexit and the pandemic took the wheels off the life abroad I’d desperately tried to create to escape them and their treatment 25 years ago. I really don’t know what to do. I’ve taken to just praying every day and taking long walks when I can steal time for them. Why isn’t there a place where people like us, who learn these things in moments of personal crisis (too late in life) can at least find recognition, validation to fight the extreme isolation, and get understanding support to help us escape and survive? If someone is suicidal, they are often told “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem”. But what if it isn’t temporary? What if the abusers are all you’ve got and it feels too late to regain a life and independence worth living, all alone in a world getting more and more full of danger and crisis(?
This article is actually bringing up a lot of stress and anxiety right now with the constant crap i have to deal with on a daily basis. And I love the sayings “Get over yourself” or “Just leave”. My responses “If I could I would” or “Don’t you think I would’ve if I could”. It’s not always a choice; it’s either deal with it or live in your car. And then you have those fun, seemingly, random mental breakdowns.
The worst is when your gas lighter is your mother. I was blamed for everything. Note: I’m ADHD – in girls the symptoms are made worse because of our hormones: growing up i had a hard time understanding why I could not do things the same way as everybody else, however, whats really sucky is the fact that my parents believed the best way to handle this was to act as if nothing was wrong with me. I wouldnt doy homework, had trouble with impulse control physically and verbally, when i was in elementary school i stole and lied so my issues became mental anguish when i got into high school because my mother used my past issues from ES against me. Edit: i heard ALL these phrases from her my whole life, even into adulthood, even after I moved out, even after i got married. It stopped (regrettably) when she passed away. I still carry those emotional scars, that unfortunately my husband and children have to deal with.
The more mature I am the more I understand what gaslighting is.. Just cut some of my old friends that I thought I’m okay reconnecting with them otherwise after analyzing some patterns and healed ‘some parts’ of my self, it’s okay to stay in the distance eventhough I still forgive them, you’ll realize they’re so miserable.. but you don’t have to care that much, becoz u don’t wanna be contaminated by their toxicities.. sometimes it’s sad seeing them with their destructive patterns, or even worse if it’s pathological.. oh bless them😩. and This article is such a clear confirmation! Thank You. 👍🏻✨🙏🏻
Gaslighting warning sign in a relationship: The goal is to control you, to benefit their needs 1. Blame you: “It’s your fault.” Turn the situation in their favor, you are the abuser 2. Accuastation: You need help, accusing you of having a problem: you need to stop playing article game 3. Create doubt: Your statements: you did this, you are angry, you need to stop 4. Misunderstanding: Divert attention from the real problem: Create lies, gossip and excuses for their behavior 5. Projection: They feel low self-esteem, thus they will accuse you of this, and they will push their problems on you.