Aries is a zodiac sign that is often afraid of falling in love due to the fear of slowing down and losing their freedom. They are not naturally drawn to love, as it involves exposing their vulnerabilities and facing rejection and judgment. Gemini, on the other hand, handles breakups well, preferring to plan for the future and focus on the present.
There are several reasons why someone might be afraid of falling in love, and astrology can help unlock those fears. For example, Virgo is afraid of people who fall in love with them because they do not think they deserve love, leading to feelings of inadequacy and isolation. Aries is determined to do things their own way and has a strong sense of sovereignty within them, which they fear losing in relationships.
Some zodiac signs may exhibit traits and tendencies that make them more prone to this fear, such as being loyal and sincere, but also fearing the past. Philophobia, or the fear of falling in love, is the most difficult aspect of finding true love, as it involves letting go of one’s love.
Sagittarius is responsible, focused, and disciplined, but is afraid of love because it seems reckless and unpredictable. Physical incompetence is a major reason for being afraid of getting married. Sexuality is seen from the 5th and 7th houses, and Pisces is afraid of double standards and unnecessary expectations.
Zodiac and astrology tips can help individuals understand why they might be afraid of love based on their zodiac sign. Capricorns have a fear of losing control, while Aries loves personal space and freedom and has a steady dread in them. Gemini, a detached air sign, prefers to engage in emotional and intellectual conversations rather than talking about their feelings. By understanding these fears, individuals can gain insights into their own experiences and develop strategies to overcome their fears and find true love.
📹 If You’re AFRAID You Won’tFind Love. .
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What makes you afraid of love?
Philophobia, a fear of love, can significantly impact relationships and can be triggered by painful experiences like breakups, divorces, abandonment, or rejection. This phobia can be overcome through talk therapy, which can help individuals overcome this phobia. Philophobia is a common anxiety disorder where individuals develop extreme fears of things that won’t typically harm them. Some believe that Queen Elizabeth I of England had philophobia, but she never married and became known as the Virgin Queen. Phobias are common anxiety disorders that develop extreme fears of things that won’t typically harm them.
Which planet rules your love?
Venus, the planet of love, beauty, harmony, seduction, and aesthetic taste, is a key aspect of astrology. Each planet on a birth chart falls within one of the 12 zodiac signs and 12 astrological houses. The house Venus was in when born can provide insight into romantic places and potential dates. For example, a person with Venus in her 10th house, which is career and public prestige, might meet people through formal gatherings.
Your Venus sign will reveal your tastes, dress style, and best bet for attracting potential partners. Venus is a receptive planet, more focused on seduction than pursuit. As it is closer to Earth, your Venus sign can only be two signs before or two signs after your sun sign. For example, a Capricorn sun might have Venus in Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, or Pisces.
Fire signs indicate that Venus in fire signs are forward, immediate, and passionate, with a strong desire for immediate attention. These signs can also influence physical traits and preferences.
Why are Geminis scared of love?
Geminis are known for their love for mind games and the thrill of the chase, but they can be nervous and fickle in love due to their fear of getting hurt. They are often flighty and friendly, but their energy comes from a fear of rejection. When dating both sides of a Gemini, it is important to remember that their insecurities stem from their fear of conflict and rejection. Ghosting is a common behavior, often stemming from a fear of conflict, confrontation, or letting people down.
Geminis may convince themselves that the other person doesn’t care about them in moments of insecurity. However, they are known for their flakiness, evasiveness, and conflict avoidance, as they don’t want to hurt others’ feelings. If you are getting mixed signals from a Gemini, don’t lose hope. They may be feeling skittish about their own feelings or in the beginning stages of ghosting you. In love and war, all is fair, and Geminis are often the first to show signs of interest.
Who will a Gemini fall in love with?
Geminis are a responsible and affectionate couple who thrive in relationships, particularly with air signs like Aquarius and Libra. They are genuinely caring and enjoy winning over others. Geminis are amusing, trustworthy, lively, and grateful for their relationships. However, their love for their siblings can either confirm their pleasure or limit their independence. Despite this, Geminis are amusing, adaptable, and kind. They are passionate about marriage and starting a family when they find someone who connects with them on multiple dimensions.
Geminis, governed by Mercury, have a split nature, making them adaptable in most situations. They are humorous in their language and discourse, as their ruling component is wind. They love simple romances and are skilled at communicating their thoughts to their partner. They try to avoid being sentimentally involved until it is unavoidable, as they dislike being emotionally involved.
Why am I scared to make love?
People with a fear of sex often experience negative feelings, avoidance, and anxiety about sexual performance. This fear can be triggered by physical concerns, trauma, cultural factors, and anxiety about sexual performance. Erotophobia is an excessive and irrational fear of sex, often causing multiple forms of fear, such as genophobia and haphephobia. Treatments like medication and psychotherapy can help manage this condition, which can affect relationships and well-being.
What determines love in astrology?
The Venus sign represents love and partnerships, while the Mars sign reflects primitive needs and carnal impulses. The birth chart can predict love north/south nodes, which are fated points that indicate the life’s path and what the individual is here to give the world. The north node, or Midheaven, represents public life and soul, while the south node, or Midheaven, represents the individual’s work and accolades. If a Capricorn is in the Midheaven, they may be more concerned with work and accolades, which could indicate their ranking of love in their life.
Why do Sagittarius fear love?
The most significant relationship concern, as indicated by astrological indications, is the potential for causing distress to a new romantic interest. This is exemplified by the case of Sagittarius. This apprehension has the potential to impede the prospect of forming a meaningful connection in one’s life. Conversely, those born under the sign of Aries are concerned that they may allow someone to gain access to their emotional vulnerability, which could subsequently be exploited.
Why is a Gemini hard to love?
Geminis are known for their open-minded nature and non-committal nature, making them difficult to date. They tend to keep their options open and may change their feelings daily, making it difficult to settle down and get serious with someone. Geminis are also known for their active social life, often hanging out with friends and engaging in activities like bookstores, museums, or visiting nearby towns.
When dating a Gemini, it is important to be prepared to spend time with their friends and keep their mind occupied. They may also be a good match for Capricorns, who value structure and tradition, but may find it challenging to agree on their future together due to Geminis’ openness to change and their tendency to move on quickly.
In summary, Geminis are a versatile and open-minded couple who may struggle to find a suitable partner due to their open-minded nature and tendency to change their feelings daily.
Why do Sagittarius struggle with love?
Sagittarius is a challenging personality type due to their tendency to be untied down, which can take time for them to commit to a partner. They may feel like they’re missing out on social activities or have a busy schedule, making it difficult to find time for a partner. They prefer to stay positive and upbeat, which can be frustrating when dealing with serious issues. Sagittarius has many friends and an active social life, so they may introduce them to their friend group early on.
They are also big on travel, so they may suggest a trip together. They are direct about their desires, making them the person making most of the first moves when dating. Sagittarians are easy-going and don’t dwell on the negative, making them a soothing presence in their day-to-day life.
Which planet is responsible for your love life?
Venus, the planet of love, beauty, and pleasure, governs relationships, money, aesthetics, and lavishness in astrology. It also influences our style of loving and romanticizing, such as flirting, showing affection, and falling in love. If Venus is your ruling planet, you are blessed with a strong connection to love and affection, leading to a life filled with love and romance. Taurus or Libra individuals can be lucky as Venus influences their personality, making them gentle, sensitive, compassionate, patient, and peaceful.
However, if Venus is in the wrong position, it can negatively impact your character and relationships. In summary, Venus’s influence on love, beauty, and pleasure is significant in astrology, influencing our relationships, personality, and character.
What is Sagittarius biggest fears?
Sagittarius, a carefree and carefree individual, thrives in freedom and is afraid of long-term commitment due to feeling caged. Capricorn, driven by success and accomplishment, is afraid of failure in their career, relationships, and life. Aquarius, known for their uniqueness, loves to express themselves freely and is discontent when faced with situations that don’t allow them to do so. They dislike wearing masks and fear being in situations where they cannot be their true selves.
In summary, Sagittarius, Capricorn, and Aquarius are all individuals who thrive in freedom, ambition, and individuality. They are driven by their dreams and ambitions, but fear failure and are hesitant to be in situations that limit their freedom.
📹 Are you afraid of falling in love ?
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A person who finds themselves perennially single, who doesn’t seem to meet anyone to date often, tends to internalize a feeling they are a “reject”. We are normal, kind, attractive people who watch everyone else pair off. It grows into a fear that we are unloveable. We must fight the temptation to get sad or feel cheated. We should be open hearted and go places that compatible people will hang out too. It’s hard when you feel like the unicorn who can’t get anyone good. But we might as well be ourselves and keep trying. It comes so easily to most people we know, and it’s not fair. We must persevere to be our best self and not get in a hurry. Make life meaningful.
After my last break up which was excruciatingly painful and shocking, I remember saying the same thing to my therapist about how I have no hope in ever meeting the “right” person for myself. My mom had lived a very lonely life before she passed away and I felt like I was following in her foot steps. My therapist tried to help me understand that life is about the journey, not the destination. She told me to make a conscious effort to enjoy life even if I did it alone. Well exactly a year later when I found myself loving myself and enjoying life, I met a wonderful man. Didn’t think he was ” the one” at first which told me I was on the right track because my past failed relationships began differently. Anyway, we never know what tomorrow brings so love life and keep the hope.
You made me cry Matthew because every word you said is just so true and I completely felt that. There is one thought that keeps me going through these times where I feel this chronic pain like you described it: Every day that I am living through right now is bringing me closer to the person that falls in love with me and who I fall in love with 🥺 just wanted to share that in case someone needed to hear this ❤
I think people have to be aware of the fact that by truly opening themselves up to love, they are also opening themselves up to be hurt. Forming attachment comes with vulnerability. So if you want love, you have to want it enough to be willing to risk the pain that comes with failure. That takes a lot of willpower and a lot of personal stability. Even after reaching that point in my life, I still find myself faced with this monolith.
I’m 34 and have been single for 7 years. I really dont think about finding the one for me. I just live my life the best way i know how. I’ve been so content being alone that I fear that if I do decide to give someone a chance, I’ll regret it and just want to be single again. There’s so many people married and unhappy or have been divorced more than once.
The bittersweet pain of perusal all of your friends get married while you’re single and yearning for love is so real. All 3 of my friends in my friend group have gotten married in the last year (two within the last 2 months) and my ex (only person I’ve ever dated) is now engaged. I don’t think I have a single close friend that is also single. Obviously I’m extremely happy for them, but it’s also hard because I want that sooooo bad. I’m a 21f and I haven’t had anyone show interest in me or any for so long and it just hurts. There are guys that I see regularly that I find attractive (at church and work), but I’ve never spoken a word to them or its very brief interactions with zero substance. I want to be in love and loved in return. I want to put myself out there more but have no clue where to start. I also have bad social anxiety and am introverted with a very low social battery, which doesn’t help much.
Thank you for this discussion. I feel so sad perusal this. The want for love has totally consumed my life and while I realise all the things I need to be doing to be present in other areas of my life, love is the only thing I can think about at the moment. I feel like I have no control of this feeling of needing a loving relationship in my life. I just can’t be present and enjoy other areas of my life
I relate so much. I have been “on my own” (physically) since 18, I moved to the US for college. My family lives overseas so my friends have become my second family. At 32, Im ready to have my own family though. I want to share my highs and lows with someone. My friends are beyond amazing and lovely, but there is a “void”. There are some voids that friends cant quite fill – certain intimacy, sensual and familial needs. Im trying to stay strong and keep my standards high, but there’s been times where Ive caved in due to high hopes, loneliness and being “swept away”. Its not easy, but so TRUE – what you seek is out there and available. Just need to change our perspective and stay conscious and itll happen at the right time ❤
Is it love that we are longing for or is it connection? I’m leaning towards connection. For me, connection is the key to deep love. We can love others and not be close- connected-which many times result in relationships that leave us with a sense of lovelessness. If we simplify the idea of finding “love” to finding connection, I believe we will have more fulfilling and loving relationships.
i recently came to the conclusion, that just b/c I know someone loves me… doesn’t mean it’s going to look like i think it should. i had to shift my paradigm to accept and appreciate the love they give me as the way they know how to give it. of course i can express my needs… but then i have to realize that they can only meet my needs at the bandwidth that they are able to.
This article made me cry with anticipation and knowing there are people who understand my feelings. After a 44 year relationship/38 year marriage, I am now single unexpectedly. My former husband decided he no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me. At the age of 60, I am trying to determine if there is anyone in this world who I can trust to be in a loving relationship with. Matthew says he is not worried about me at all finding another partner in life…good to hear!
I’ve followed Matt for years and his articles I find helpful but this one resonates the deepest and hardest for me. This is where I am now and it is so hard as we all live in a world designed for couples and families. So glad to hear the sad/real side of dating without making it about how we need to do xyz but find comrodery in this phase.
I absolutely love that line ” You have to be where your feet are” That resonated so strongly with me that it made me pause. A reminder to be present in the “NOW” of my life. I cannot be present in my past because it’s gone, and I am no time traveler so I could not be present in my future. The Mind is the only part of us that shifts between past, present, and future, but our physical bodies can only be in the NOW. I will say this from a Christian standpoint from my perspective no one else’s / at this time I say I AM a wife even though I’m not dating or even talking to anyone. I am told to call those things that are not as they were. I am deep diving into my word, and getting closer to the Lord. The love will come, the young lady said she wanted love more than anything like career, friendships, travel but I say you cannot want love above the one who “created” LOVE in the 1st place. Honestly, I did at a point in my life when I didn’t get what I was doing was making (-finding love/a husband) an idol. So, I fell back, then asked my God to help me with the desire for marriage that He placed in me. It’s peaceful sitting under him learning what he wants me to do. It can be lonely and times, but I turn to my Bible and he points me to the children in the bible he has helped and that gives me comfort. If He did it before he will do it again, Ruth, Esther, Hannah, and Sarah they all had requests and petitions they lifted up to Him and he fulfilled them when it was time. God bless each of you here.
Video idea: Conversation starters once you drop the “hanker-chief” and they return it to you. I struggle jump starting conversations in a calm, natural and flirtatious way. Thank you to you and your team for delivering us content that is essential for navigating the dating process, is a reminder to value and trust ourselves, and most importantly…ways in which we can lead an enriching life. Cheers!
Audrey’s comment is 🎯 42 years old, single mom 24/7, single for 8 years, and I’ve resigned myself to being alone because the pain of disappointment and betrayal is chronic, the norm, and exhausting. Radically accepting that who I am and the integrity I’m looking to build with is exceptionally rare in these times and may not exist
I was with this guy when I was in my 20’s was considerate and fun. He generally arrived 15 – 20 minutes late when we went somewhere. That one negative was so insignificant compared to the positives. To begin with, yes, it bothered me, I was with him for more than a year. When we broke up, we remained friends for more than a year. I smile when I think about it, I don’t miss the relationship or him, it just makes me smile.
Thank you for this article. I’m a person who has been in a relationship for 7,5 years, but I know it’s not true love and often it feels like having a flatmate rather than a partner. But I’m not brave enough to get out of this emptiness because it just feels comfortable. But I dream about a different kind of relationship and love, but I don’t believe I’ll ever find it. I’m 37. The biggest love of my life is my dog. My friends are either married, engaged or crazily in love in a new relationship, having / expecting or planning children. I used to long for these things, too, but as I haven’t found the true love, I don’t want a wedding or kids. And what makes me sad isn’t only the fact I haven’t found my true love and maybe I never will. Although I’m happy for the people I care about and how their lives have turned out – weddings, kids, etc., I am afraid I’ll be like a loser in other people’s eyes if I never find my true love (or something that would come at least close to it) and I’m afraid that if everyone around me will be happy, there will be no more space for me in their life. That’s the only thing that makes it hard to wish happiness for others 100% wholeheartedly – the fear of ending up lonely and feeling lik a loser. But these are just emotions speaking for me because my brain says that if you find your true love or not doesn’t say anything about your qualities as a person. I don’t judge people based on their relationship or marital status, so why should anyone judge me. But Matthew hit the nail on the head when he said: “Although you’re happy for others, their happiness just reminds you of what you don’t have” (or something like this).
I know his advice is mostly geared towards women, or at least that’s how I’ve perceived it, but as a man I’ve found these articles to be so helpful. And this one in particular has really solidified a hope in me and the things that I’ve been thinking about and working through. So thanks for the advice. It’s greatly appreciated.
There can be deep desperate moments, when you crave for a hug (the kind you can only have with a person you love) and there is no one there. To think that there will never ever be someone again can hurt very much and yes, it can happen (f.e. when you are ill – who would want to build a castle with an ill person?). I think it is important to accept it all and get on with everything, but still it hurts. And yes, other people are struggling, too, and some of the relationships around me are not the ones I would want to have, but still, these people have people who care and when you are single, you have to organize every little bit of care or all the things that couples just do. So I do understand the feeling so well and I think it is important to share these feelings and accept them with grace, but accept them. But I would never accept a toxic or bad relationship, no matter how desperate it sometimes feels!!! 🙂
Consistently relocated and moved overseas in my 20s being so independent and lonely all the time, I actually forgot how it was to be in a relationship. Wow it has been almost a decade that I haven’t experienced love romantically but instead I had short term relationships that hurt me. I want love more than anything else but I know I must keep developing myself to be the one I want to be with for the rest of my life while the one is on his way to me ! Never lose hope ❤
love will fall in place and will be easy if you are comfortable with being alone and being by yourself and loving yourself first. I was desperate to find love cause i was afraid of being lonely and not being in a long term relationship only to discover that the relationship i ended up in after searching was an toxic relationship, and because i was so afraid of being alone and single, i didn’t wanna end this toxic relationship i had . In the end i eventually dumped him for my own well being and came across this article and realize that theres no need to rush . Be happy and let love find you and remember your boundaries and respect
I experienced this two days ago….after few weeks….everything seemed to be perfect….incredible emotional, mental, intellectual, physical connection….the person I was waiting my entire life for….and I did not imagine that he felt the same….but he did not want to go deeper because of a distance of 450km between us….because of my attachments from the past….because of our age difference….all these what was 100% clear before we even started to meet….I am broken…I am so down….😢😢😢
Feeling down after I left my ex after finding out she had been cheating for the last year and a half 😕 she’s a terrible person now but at one point she was everything I wanted, with her flaws and all. We started off as a best friends and eventually we became romantic. I remember neither one of us really wanted it to turn into a relationship but love happens when you don’t look for it and we became head over heels for each other. Our bond was so strong at one point, I hope I can find that sort of love again ❤️
Being single and hating it is different from being single and fearing that status as something that’s permanent to our personality, and neither one of those things has to define you so deeply. Chronic feelings of unworthiness, self-deprecating thoughts and being critical of yourself doesn’t leave you with anything remotely positive, and in more extreme cases, it can make those around you feel repulsed by your presence. Nothing’s more pathetic than perusal someone wallow in their sorrows and refusing to do something more productive with that…. and I’m speaking these words with a very specific person in mind.
I was at the place too. Now, I’m happy married, but I also thought when I find my true love all other problems will disappear. It was a huge mistake. I just let all of my anxiety and trauma come to the surface. And I had to make therapy to heal. So, it was bittersweet. Now, I’m happy, but it was a long road and it still comes up now and then… By the way, I started dating with 33 years old, because I was afraid to get hurt. What happens? I get cheated on. So, I guess the more you fear something, than it comes true… 🤷🏼♀️
I’m convinced that finding love is not for everyone, just like singing is not for everyone or physics or painting, etc. Not every human being is made to find love, some of us are just unlovable or unable to love others, it is an absolute privilege, to find love and to be in a relationship is a miracle, a very common one in appearance, but a miracle nevertheless.
I agree with Steve. I stayed single bec I couldn’t find another person to have the same love I had. I believe in the second chances. I believe that there is possibility to be in love again. It may takes time to have a new love. A new person that can build up what is missing. Deeper than the first one maybe? I don’t know. But there is always ways to find new and fresh relationship.
Thank you, finally. I keep getting told you ‘will’ find someone, as if there are guarantees and life is fair. It just frustrates me. There is no comfort in people telling me the universe has a plan or whatever. I’ve experienced too much hurt, death, loss, abandonment and rejection for that to be true. Or if it is true, the universe has a grudge. lol.
I know this is mostly intended for women audience. But man it was so relatable. What hurts the most is when you feel like there is a lot of love within you to share with someone, to enjoy that part of life, you are willing to grow, work on relationship and build something meaningful. Yet all you know is mistreatment, stringing along and rejection. You think you found someone that is interested in you, you connect, you feel like the bond is slowly growing, but when you want to take things to the next level you get “Look in the mirror, how could you possible think you had a chance with me.” This emotionally destroys you. It makes you think you are unworthy, unlovable, there is always someone else, people only use you for their own benefit. It has been some time since then, but I am honestly still afraid to open my heart again, to trust anyone again.
One thing you seem to skip is this, as a single, going out for the evening to have a good time and i feel im in a emotional state to be open to meeting someone with a special mindset to find some dazzle and finding that special chemistry, it just not the same if im out hiking or fixing my car in the driveway and hot and sweaty and not mentally in a state to find chemistry on a mountainside or on the sidewalk, its just not the same kind of connection with someone as when im dressed up and looking for love out on the town for the evening events. Its just not the same connection, the “how we met” part is important, some like quirky stuff im sure, but i dont, i just want good old fashioned sparks to remember forever.
When I see my friends in relationships I see how annoying and selfish their partners are and it makes me not want a relationship. I don’t mind working on a relationship, but I don’t think I can compromise my life to be with an emotionally unintelligent man. It’s exhausting. I live in a relatively smallish area, where everyone knows everyone so you can’t casually date anyone. You have to be careful that you aren’t dating someone’s ex, or dating people who are friends. Also if you date a lot of people, people start to talk about you in a negative way.
I got broken up with in August last year and now she’s getting married in May of this year. I feel so hurt and cheated in life because we spent almost 5 years together (Nov 1st is our anniversary hence why i said almost 5 years). It wasn’t an easy decision for me to decide to convert but i told her when the time came i would (she is muslim and i am not). Now she’s marrying someone while I’ve been trying my best to not breakdown all the time. The breakup was over text and when i called she was really cruel towards me showing no empathy towards my feelings even when i cried and begged her to tell me why she’s leaving, all she said was that she fell out of love with me (she lost her uncle who stays with her and her family last year Jan and basically i always tried to support her as best as i could since i could not see her in person, but in Aug she brokeup saying she fell out of love with me because she had to adapt to cope with the emotional trauma of losing her uncle which was like a second father figure to her, her father is more on the strict loving side while her uncle was on the playful loving side. We called in Sept and i tried once again to ask her if we could start over and she ended up crying complaining that i was dragging this out and making things difficult for her. Out of love i chose to stop messaging her. Last year Nov for my birthday i asked if i could call her in which i ended up begging her again to start over with her, she laughed at me and after that i stopped contacting her.
Right now I don’t think I will ever find love. I’m a DWM In his mid 60s. I’m only 5’7″ and make less than 50k (both deal breakers for many women). I’m introverted quiet and shy. I’m borderline Asperger’s and ADHD. Everyone in my family is partnered. All my friends are partnered. I always get friend zoned by women. I am told by women all the time that I’m a great guy but when I ask them if they want to meet for coffee a drink or a bite to eat, you think that I’m pulling their hair out. I’ve accepted the possibility of never getting that love the rest of my life and remain solo and lonely.
I’m 36 and just separated with my partner of 13 years. We were married for 10 and I truly believed she was my soulmate. I just don’t know if I’ll ever find anyone else. We could have fixed the marriage but she didn’t want to, she started having fun with a married man with 3 kids. I had it all, beautiful wife, home and a family. I’ve got nothing now
My take on this is similar to Morgan Freeman’s quote in the Shawshank Redemption.. “You can get busy living or you can get busy dying”. You can get busy living your life and learning new experiences and growing or you can wallow in your own self pity. Who’d be attracted to that? When you love yourself others want a piece of that energy
Isn’t it a matter of how you’re thinking and your beliefs? Visualising, writing down what you look for in a partner, affirmations… I think it’s also being mindful to be detached. Nothing is guaranteed. So just enjoy and appreciate the good people and the partner you may find. It’s just an acceptance that you may not find it too.
No one is really afraid of “not finding love.” The things people are afraid of are: not finding someone to have kids with, growing older single, living alone, not having someone to go on holidays with, being judged by friends, family, and society for being single, being bored, not having a purpose in life, etc. No one is afraid of not ever finding a song they’ll love, a movie they’ll love, a pet they’ll love, a hobby they’ll love. You can find love in many things. What you’re looking for is a specific individual to fill a specific role in your life. When you lose your real fears and accept you’ll be okay if you don’t have kids, live alone, go on holidays by yourself, etc., then your fear of “not finding love” is gone. Then you can start the real work of finding someone that could fill a specific role in your life.
It is scary in this type of hook – up society to find romantic love, I recently got ghosted by a man I had strong feelings for,and I feel like the odds are really small to get all those factors that are needed to connect with someone on that deep of a level when time,age,society seems to go against you, feels like a small chance of success.
Know what I think? I think Steven (whoever he is) should stop spouting platitudes and get it into his head that it WILL take some people YEARS to find that special person – and that some people NEVER will. It’s just the way Life is cruel sometimes: the trick is to be at peace with having no-one and as soon as you tick that box, the fact that you don’t have that special ‘one’ won’t eat you alive. As Matthew correctly says, you can be constantly ‘busy’ filling your life 12 hours a day but it’s the peace within yourself when you come home that will sustain you. God bless anyone in this situation.
that guy gave the fucking worst answer. Baby you can’t compare, it’s such a different feeling when you have not had any parter in your WHOLE life, just failed after failed attempt, always opening yourself but people not even trying a relationshipp with you. I’m not wondering if i will find a person to love forever, i just wonder id i will find someone who’s willing to try even if just last 6 months but aomething more than a few dates.
I have a long distance relationship. My boyfriend offered to start living together but then because he cheated, we had a lot of arguments over mistrust. Lately he was not mentioning anything about living together. And today I have told him that I have been invited to work in Military Forces as an interpreter and offered to get paid well and he said that it is very good option and did not say anything about that it is going to be difficult to meet up or anything like that and I don’t know how to act with him now, even though he wants to communicate by messaging every day all day and article calls as well…
Every time I find someone and get feelings they tell me how great I make them feel to be around and then they give their love to someone else. Then everyone gives me the “you have so many people who care about you” speech yet I never am the choice whenever these women are given a decision between me and someone else. I am 57 and never do I come out on top.
I know I myself have commented quite a bit in regards to this. I too have been just like her except I said it in a more aggressive and vulgar way. I am still single, however I have changed my own tune a bit. For starters I noticed most relationships really aren’t all that great. You’re absolutely correct in the danger of comparing ourselves with others. They say doing so is the thief of joy. The only thing they really have over me is high blood pressure, headache, and a sex life. That’s pretty much it. Some of my friends have horrible partners. Some are addicts with their partners. Some cheat and act like they don’t even have one. It’s nasty out here no matter what. Honestly I don’t want any of those people. They’re pretty gross. But that’s gonna be your majority. Now we get the pleasure of staying away from all that and finding real people who aren’t gross. My advice, don’t entertain anyone in an inbox ❤
The beauty of being 41 and single, is that you get to witness the realness of other relationships that are on the verge of breakdown or are now getting a divorce. Do not believe all the “public” fairytale stories and love declarations. There are plenty of married men who are crappy partners, who are not emotionally mature… with wives who question their life choices. Sometimes it’s better to wait and get a partner that also took his time, that dated a lot… because in my experience these men are way more generous with their love as they have already discovered that everyone is different and they have already developed a kindeness and softness in how to deal with women. The most crappy dates are often those men that just come out of a 15-20 year relationship, have only been with one woman, often had a pretty crap sex life…. they usually have very set ideas of what a partner should do and how she should behave… as they are looking for the better-than-my-ex copycat that could just fit right in the life they already have: taking care of the kids, taking care of the home, etc. Very few see relationships as opportunities to grow, to discover, to develop, to deepen their experience of life.
Hallo Mathew! your story is simmilar to mine, but I am 39 and still single, living in foreign countrey. I am always invited by men, but married! no single man, so difficult, I am doing sport, I am looking healthy and all and I know men like me but I have always bad luck. 20 years waiting for relationsship, also extrem difficult for me. No love just sex
Strangely… I don’t miss a romantic love, a partner… I am very happy single…. Some friends ask me…. I tell them if God has someone for me good, but if not I am ok, I can love myself and take care of myself. What fullfills my life are many aspects of It… I am thankful for the family, parents, job I am a teacher, the kids that aré my students; Yes, but mainly I feel I don’t need it because I have God, and for me that Is more than enough. I can live without a man aside me, but I can’t live without God. He is the most important in my life.
Currently dating a woman which I randomly met on a dating app (I say randomly, cause I don’t use these kind of apps as a habit of sort). We went out a couple of times before she had to leave the country for 3 months (university stuff). Before she left, she told me that she thinks we might not resonate with each other, but we’ll see what will happen in the future. While she was away, we kept in touch, almost daily… Now she came back, we hang out and I feel that she has the same way of thinking, meanwhile I feel quite the oposite; she could of end everything after she left the country but surprisingly she didn’t, and I don’t understand why. If you don’t want and feel nothing from someone, why are you still wanting to keep a connection still. Its honestly the most confusing situation I’ve been through until now, and its really sad, cause I care about her .
‘The One’ is a potentially harmful notion. Better to view ourselves and others as Venn diagrams – some ‘diagrams’ will have more ‘positives’ within our preference field than others, but broadly, there will be no shortage of compatible people ‘out there’, and that number will increase the more reasonable and realistic we are open to being. Where the numbers are seriously whittled down lies in other factors – – the scope/range of people we interact with day to day, with this figure itself being reduced by: 1/ compatibility across 2 individuals 2/ is ‘x’ person single, or in a relationship? 3/ the circumstances of 2 people being such that they are gifted a sufficient window of opportunity for exchanges to occur (e.g. we can’t ascertain much about someone’s life, if our only interaction is a ‘hello’ in passing…) 4/ Social norms/perceived constraints – it’s unusual/tricky to stretch casual interactions towards ‘testing the water’ with people we don’t know quite well. (Although extroverts will be less limited here)
I’ve tried asking girls out before and have not only rejected but either just called straight up ugly or a creep and it’s not like I’m going for models, I make close to $400k a year in sales but I guess I’m so ugly I can’t even get gold diggers. Btw the last article I’ve taken was over a year ago and I have since grown a beard and got into shape with a 6 pack, I’m 6’3″ and I guess my overly round face is just the killer of the deal. Any advice? Edit: and before you say neuter yourself to save the pain that card is already on the table as an idea
See I was speaking to a girl and her type is gym guys, more specifically bodybuilders. I’m overweight but have some shape to me. We only met 2 weeks ago but a week in we went clubbing and shared a bed that night, we didn’t do much. Mostly made out, but she said the day later on a call that she wasn’t physically attracted to me that much. Even the next morning of the clubbing night she still acted like she was into me, even kissed me goodbye when she got in her Uber. She literally said I have the personality she’d want in a partner and that it’s what she’d want. She knows I’m going to the gym for self improvement but can’t get past the attraction. It’s literally just my weight, she says I have an attractive face so if I lost the weight then what. Do you think it sounds superficial from her side of things?
I have a question in honest Should I never find love? should I never marry cause? Because That’s what I’m thinking. & Only had 2 dreams. have biological kids. Second dream to be married. I didn’t have any other dreams when I was a kid And i’m thinking should I destroy those dreams to live Not emotionally happy, but I’ll be living
I m not used to being single my partner passed away last year we were together for over 10 years and then got with a co worker for a few months last year it didn’t work out but then a few months ago I got back with him but I messed it up because of my addiction and passed pain so will I ever find love again I hope so but if not so be it😂
Thank you Audrey for advocating for the single people. Stephen came off a bit dismissive by lumping people who are in search of a partner and those who already have one. Then to speak as if it’s just about logic when generally emotions are tied heavily in the process, especially when one doesn’t see fruit from the labor of looking, was disappointing to hear.
40 still single. I’m not a ugly girl. Not sure why it’s so difficult. The wrong men approach me. The right men don’t. I don’t do dating apps I try to be a good woman and good person. I dress tastefully and pretty. Not slutty. I’m in good shape. I try and try and try. No right man comes to me. The only ones are the Chads trying to sleep with me and move on. I don’t know what to do. I pray and seek god and but thing. Please help me
“You need to love yourself first” Oh fakkoff! There are tons and tons of peeps who hate themselves or have deep depressions that get into constant relationships – and then they heal from said relationship. This bleeping advice is FAKE and not true. Sometimes the thing you need is someone to really care about you. Not having that, is truly having a famine of the heart.
Comment: People should just work on getting their college degree and then should start working (along with making money). The rest will come in due time but if love does not arrive in your life, then the Universe is telling you that marriage was never in the stars for you. Just focus on your job and save your money and also invest your money. You can’t have everything in life but at least you can buy yourself two buckets of Blue Bell Ice Cream now that you have your job. July 23, 2024, USA